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Cassius hugged Sybil before grabbing my hand and leading us to Onyx and Kaida. His shadows lifted me to the saddle of Onyx instead of putting me on my own horse before he climbed on. Kaida followed close behind us. I gripped the beautiful flowers in my hand. Concern filled the bond, and I knew he could tell something was wrong, but he said nothing until we got to the stables.

“Tell me what is making you feel so torn.” He frowned as he brushed my braid over my shoulder.

I hesitated before answering, knowing that it would make him upset. “I still have to get the bloodstone.”

His hand fell away from me, and he stepped back. Terror filled me from the bond. I stepped towards him, but he stepped back again.

“No,” he whispered. “No, you don’t need to. We can start fresh from today. I’ll tell you every memory I can remember about us.”

Tears filled my eyes at the overwhelming sadness he was feeling.

“Cassius, you know that isn’t enough. The others can’t get their lives back until I get the bloodstone. Do you want me to be responsible for them never getting to find the family they left behind? I can’t keep their happiness from them any longer than it already has been. Besides, Brim told me that the prophecy doesn’t happen until I break my curse. It must happen to save Elloryon.”

“Please…” He turned away. “I cannot lose you again.”

“Cassius… I want to remember every detail of us. I want to know what it was like when we got married, when you took me prisoner, and everything in between.”

“You can’t do this.” His voice was harsh, but I knew he was just scared. “I forbid it!”

“I will always be hunted by my father and Jesper if I don’t complete the prophecy. And our family will always be in danger. I can feel how much you are constantly worried for me. That is not a way to live.”

“I will not let you do this.” His eyes flashed black, and anger zapped down the bond. “No.”

“You can’t stop me.” I frowned. “I want to be free. I want everyone not to be tied to me and to be able to live a life all their own. I want to have children with you, and we would never be able to do that if I did not fulfill the prophecy. I do not have an option other than to complete it.”

A sharp pang of sadness and lust shot through the bond before anger returned.

“I’ve lost you six times! I finally have you back, and you want me to let you go back to Cerithia to get a stupid fucking rock.”

“Please understand,” I cried.

“I understand,” he growled. “But it doesn’t mean that I’m willing to risk you for anyone else. You have to understand thatevery time I watch you die, a piece of me dies too. And each time, I don’t think I can make it. It took me seven months to leave our room when you died the last time. I’m alone. I’m haunted by our memories. I’m haunted by you wherever I am because I can remember, and you can’t. My life stops every time you are away from me.”

“Cassius…”

“I need time to think.” He turned away from me. “Go get some rest. I’ll be back.” He hopped on Onyx and rode off.

Cassius’ emotions through the bond stopped as he rode into the woods.

Chapter 34

As I lay in bed, all I could think about was how heartbroken Cassius had looked at me. I knew the right thing to do was to go get the bloodstone, but I wished there was another way. The selfish part of me wanted to forget it so I could live blissfully with Cassius, but I could never do that to Sybil, the twins, and all the fae in Exile.

They had given up their lives to help save me, and Iwouldrepay it.

Cassius crept into our bedroom a moment later. The smell of liquor was light in the air. His golden eyes watched me as I sat up to see the state he was in. He said nothing as he slipped off his boots and clothing before crawling into bed. His arms wrapped around me as he held me close to him.

“I’m sorry for my outburst earlier,” he whispered as he traced over my face with his fingers. “I would never keep you from freeing those in Exile.”

“You’re scared of losing me. I’m scared too,” I answered softly.

He nodded as his eyes traced over me.

“We will get the bloodstone and make your father and Jesper suffer for what they have done to you.”

“I love you.” I smiled as I leaned forward and kissed him gently.

“I love you too.” Cassius pulled me closer and nuzzled his face into my neck. “It will be nice when you can remember all of us.”