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“No, I’m not saying anything like that,” I cut her off. “I’m just saying it was a beautiful moment. And he was sweet, too. Even sweeter than he seemed in his profile.”

“He was practically a teenager in his profile,” my friend reminded me.

“I know.”

She began pouring tea from a steaming teapot, which wasn’t exactly my thing. I usually drank the tea anyway, because of her. Also maybe to expand my horizons.

Today though, the thought of drinking the tea made me sick to my stomach.

“So you got what you wanted,” my friend eventually shrugged. “You tracked him down — thanks to me, you’re welcome very much — and he gave the clinic another donation.”

I nodded, picking up my chicken skewer. I twirled the wooden stick between my thumb and forefinger, staring blankly as it rotated.

“So when will you do the deed?”

I blinked. It was like coming out of hypnosis.

“What?”

“When do you plan on trying?” Addison went on. “Are you going to wait a few months, try for a summer baby, or are you looking to get started right away?”

It was a fair question. So far I hadn’t even called the place. I knew Devyn had done his thing, because they sent me three separate messages telling me so. And Devyn himself had also called, not long after landing in Phoenix.

Arizona…

I’d spoken to the guys twice over the past month, and not for their lack of trying. Maverick had sent me a few very sweet messages, and Gage had sent three times as many funny ones. As much as I wanted to engage them, the nagging voice in the back of my mind told me it probably wasn’t a good idea.

But shit, I didn’t even know why.

Instead I’d gone back to immersing myself at the office, which had always been my one true sanctuary for clearing my head. Shameless Marketing needed to be streamlined, especially with all the recent hires. I had to promote the good people. Trim away the bad. Between Aric and I, we’d have the place running lean and mean going into the fall and winter months. From there I could revisit the idea of implantation and conception.

“My God Juliana, you can’t focus onanything!”

I looked across from me, where Addison was busy eating her pot-stickers. I still hadn’t separated my wooden chopsticks. She was right though. I’d been unreasonably distracted.

“You reallydowant this, don’t you?”

Numbly I nodded. It might not have seemed convincing, however.

“Look, I know it’s a lot,” said Addison. “I’ve got three of my own, remember? Raising kids is a shit-ton of work, and it’s a twenty-four seven job. At times, you’ll be ready to pull your own hair out.”

“Not exactly the pep-talk I was hoping for,” I smirked.

Reaching out, my friend closed her hand over mine. Her smile was warm and genuine.

“You know what though?” she pressed. “When they’re looking up at you with those bright, beautiful eyes? And they close their little hand around your finger?”

My friend settled back into her chair and sighed happily.

“That’s when you realize it’s the most rewarding, amazing thing in the whole world.”

Twenty-Six

MAVERICK

“Yeah, I agree,” I said solemnly, looking down at the series of photos. “This right here… this would be the big one.”

I tapped the third photo in particular, as blurry as it was. The man was behind a wall. Only part of his head was visible, but there were enough pixels to make out exactly who he was.