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Blue hated this. He hated all of this.
And he was mostly afraid that what he really hated was himself.
He wasn’t his father. He wasn’t that kind of hero. He didn’t know how many more times he needed to tell people that before they’d stop holding him up to standards he would never, ever meet.
So he didn’t go find his mother. He headed straight through that kitchen and walked out of the house, the way he’d done twenty years ago.
He didn’t look back. He flipped the SUV around and headed back down the driveway, where he stopped, because there was another issue glaring at him.
Literally, right there in his face. Or across the street, anyway.
Everly’s parents’ house was lit up as if they were home, when Blue knew they weren’t. They were on their way back from Europe, but they weren’t here yet. Which meant the lights on the second floor were Everly’s.
After hours in police custody, Everly had been released before Blue. Templeton had driven her out to her parents’ house because it was the only place she had to go. The police had told her that there had been some salvageable items in her apartment, but that was a whole project. And tonight wasn’t the time to face it.
Blue itched to slam his foot down on the gas pedal and put as much space between him and this street as he could, and fast—
But she’d told him she loved him.
Blue figured the least he could do was tell her good-bye.
He could handle this better than he had with his family. He could let Everly down easy. Maybe even let her hate him if she wanted, so she could get over this crisis crush of hers quicker.
She might have changed him forever. He could feel it, deep inside him, like one more fault line about to crack. But she hadn’t changed him enough.
Blue didn’t think anything could.
He pulled over across the street and left the SUV there at the curb. Then he jogged around to the back of the house and the door that led straight into the kitchen, because that was how kids had always entered each other’s houses back when they were growing up here. It hadn’t even occurred to him to use the front door.
As if you have more memories of life here than you want to admit.
He told that voice inside him where it could go, then let himself in through the unlocked back door. Once inside, he stood still.
Because it was much too quiet.
A moment later, Griffin melted out of the shadowsfrom what Blue assumed was the pantry, lowering his weapon as he stepped into the light.
“I thought Templeton was doing the last watch here.”
“He had to jump a plane for Atlanta. Clean up a mess or two on that corporate job from back in April.” Griffin smirked. “Am I not pretty enough for you?”
“You’re gorgeous.” Blue moved farther into the kitchen, hoping he’d managed to school his expression into something appropriately blank. Because Griffin saw entirely too much, like all the rest of his overly trained brothers-in-arms. “Where’s the client?”
“At the moment,the clientis in the shower.”
Blue assured himself that he was imagining Griffin’s emphasis on those two particular words.
Griffin lifted a finger and pointed it toward the ceiling. It took Blue a minute to understand that they could hear the water in the pipes of the old house, if they listened.
“She’s been in there a while. I’m guessing the shock hit her.”
“Okay,” Blue muttered. “Thanks.”
He didn’t explain himself any further. Better still, Griffin—possibly the most resolutely glacial of all the men in Alaska Force—didn’t ask. Blue walked out of the kitchen and found the stairs, then headed up to the second floor. He followed the sound of the running water down the hallway to his left, and sure enough, Griffin was right. The shock had finally hit her.
He could hear Everly in there, sobbing in time with the pounding water.
It was like someone reached out, plunged a fist into his chest, and mangled whatever was left in there.