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“I didn’t snap in half while driving across the Yukon to find you.”
She hurled that at him like the punch she didn’t dare throw. And the good news was that the paralyzing fear hadn’t returned. The bad news was that she was filled with righteous indignation instead, and it made her feel reckless. Invincible. Not a smart way to act around a man like this, she was pretty sure. He could snap her in half with his pinkie finger. But she kept right on, because she didn’t think he would.
No matter what she did.
“I think I’ll probably be fine eating a few cheesesticks and chugging some Diet Coke to stay awake while I wait to see if I live through the summer. But thank you for your concern.”
“I’m not talking about your weight, Everly. I’m talking about your health. If you want to look like a scared stick figure every other day of your life, knock yourself out. Not my circus, not my monkeys. But this?” He did something with his chin that seemed to encompass her, the apartment, and everything she’d ever told him. In one economical gesture that she felt like a harsh conviction. “This is all my business until your problem is solved. What if we have to run and you can’t because you haven’t eaten a goddamn thing in three days?”
“First of all, I ate breakfast in your presence this morning. Second, I knew I was leaving for a week and I cleared out my refrigerator.”
“I don’t believe you.”
She hated that he knew she was lying. As if he’d watched her stand right where he was and decide she couldn’t be bothered—and was entirely too anxious—to go get any new food. That a few cheese sticks and cans of whatever would do. “Third, when I’m stressed, I’m not hungry.”
“I don’t really care if you’re hungry. I care that you can handle yourself in any given situation, and I hate to break it to you, but that requires fuel. And adequate sleep. And not doing insane, suicidal things like driving over Hard-Ass Pass or trying to sustain yourself on crap and chemicals.”
There was no reason why this should bother her so much. She kept telling herself that, but it didn’t make her any less bothered. “I thought the point of you beinghere was that you’d handle any situation that might come up.”
“Sure. In a perfect world. But I have to tell you, sweetheart, I’ve been on a lot of missions in my time, and not one of them has ever been perfect. Not one.”
Everly wanted to hurl things at him then, mean and vicious things if she could think of any, but she bit her tongue. Because she was making this personal, and it wasn’t. It might be about her actual person, but that didn’t make it personal. Not on his end, anyway. He was here to protect her, not compliment her or be polite or worry about hurting her feelings.
This wasn’t some kind of weird, extended extreme date.
“If you don’t want to order a pizza, Blue, you could have just said so.” Everly was proud of her voice, calm and cool. Or close enough. “I’m sure we can find a place to deliver a bucket of Paleo horror, with a kale and coconut-oil smoothie to wash it all down.”
“I like pizza. I particularly like cheeseburgers and greasy fries, now that you mention it. But I limit how much garbage I eat, because I need my body to function at peak performance levels.”
“You have my congratulations.” Everly didn’t buckle when he scowled. “Listen, I’ll make an effort to eat, because you make a good point about maybe needing to run. But I’ll eat what I want.”
“This isn’t a fight. I don’t care what you eat.” There was something different in his gaze then. She could feel it. Everywhere. On some level she knew that she should be alarmed, but she couldn’t bring herself to do anything about it. She didn’t step back. She didn’t think shemoved forward, either, and yet somehow, he seemed closer.
“You just told me I was too skinny,” she said, and she knew it was a mistake. It was the way she’d said it. Not exactly petulant, but not the way a grown woman talked to a person she’d hired to perform a very specific and dangerous task.
On cue, she felt herself flush, because that was all she did around him, apparently.
“Let’s be clear about what’s happening here,” Blue said then, all business, which made her feel even more embarrassed and overbright. “This isn’t playtime. This isn’t a game. If you think otherwise, there’s no reason for me to be here.”
“We’re standing in the apartment where I saw two men possibly murder my roommate. I’ve never thought this was a game.”
“This is either life-and-death or it’s not. Which is it?”
“Mylife.Mydeath. Not yours.”
“I’m glad you’re confident about that. I have no intention of dying, but it doesn’t always work out that way. So let me say this one more time. I’ll take care of you as best I can. But you have to take care of yourself, too.” She started to speak, but he plowed right over her. “I get it. Something horrible happened, and you hunkered down here, just trying to survive. You’ve been gone for a week, so your refrigerator is empty. I’ll buy that. But everything in this apartment tells me the same story.”
“Is it the story of a very scared person with bad guys after her?” She straightened her shoulders when he raised a brow at her tone. “I don’t understand why you’re making such a big deal out of a couple of cheese sticks.”
“It’s not just the cheese sticks. It’s the shoes.”
They both looked down.
“You don’t like my shoes?” Everly was baffled.
“This is what I have to ask myself,” Blue said, almost conversationally. And Everly might not have been able to tell if he was breathing, but she was pretty clear on the fact that despite his easy tone, there was nothing but that dark tension flaring between them. “Who gets in a car, knowing they have a long, thankless drive in front of them, through parts of Canada that are never really too far from winter no matter what time of year it is, and thinks,Hey, I know. I’ll wear the most impractical shoes I can find?”
Everly shook her head in confusion. “They’re my favorite shoes. And I was in the car, not trekking my way across the Rocky Mountains.”