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‘No, not really,’ I said. ‘I never really bothered my mom about stuff that was happening at school. She was too busy with work for things like parent–teacher conferences, and my dad was long gone by then.’

I only had vague memories of my dad. My mom rarely spoke about him, keeping only a handful of photos of him in a battered envelope that I often had to dig through old boxes to find, since we moved so much and I never knew where anything was.

All through grade school I’d missed having a dad, though I’d never really spent much time withmydad, even before he left us. He became this great, unknowable figure, and I filled in all the gaps in my knowledge with my imagination, turning him into an ideal that the real man almost certainly wasn’t.

‘I’m sorry,’ Brooke said gently, like she meant it. ‘When did he leave?’

‘When I was … four, maybe five?’ Like the Mouse thing, I didn’t want to dig into this with Brooke. I didn’t want her to know all the dirty secrets of my life.

‘Do you ever see him?’

‘No, not anymore. My mom knows where he is, just, like, on a general basis. I think he went to New Mexico and worked in construction for a while. She might be able to get ahold of him if she wanted to, but I don’t know.’

My mom had been the one to cut ties, and I didn’t really know how to bypass her and reconnect with him, or what I’d say if I found him.

‘Are you an only child?’ Brooke asked.

‘Yeah. I mean, I might have half-brothers or -sisters out there somewhere, I suppose, but if I do, no one’s ever told me about them.’

‘You’re not curious about that? Sorry if I’m being too nosy.’

I laughed, even though it sounded a little forced. ‘It’s fine. I guess I might look into it one day.’

‘What about your mom? Are you close?’ Brooke pressed.

‘We used to be.’ That was true. ‘She works a lot now.’ Also true. ‘Sometimes it feels like …’

‘Like?’ Brooke prompted.

‘It’s … whatever,’ I said, waving away her concern. ‘I got a job last year, so I can go out and do that now and she doesn’t have to worry about me.’

‘What do you do?’

‘Babysitting. Some tutoring. Over Thanksgiving and Christmas last year I worked at the mall on the weekends, too, in one of those stores selling fancy soap.’

I’d never minded working. My mom appreciated me helping out with extra cash and it took off some of the pressure on our relationship. Plus, I got to work with people who called me Jessie, not Mouse, and treated me like a normal person.

‘I never got paid for babysitting,’ Brooke said, sounding put out. ‘My extended family just expects it.’

I grinned. ‘That’s where being part of the church comes in useful. There’s a pretty big network of families, and they all know me, so there’s always someone around who wants me to watch their kids for a few hours.’

‘That’s clever. I should’ve thought of that.’ She paused and pushed her sunglasses back down on her nose. ‘What about your stepdad?’

I froze. ‘He’s not my stepdad, he’s my mom’s boyfriend,’ I said, trying to make my voice sound normal.

Brooke glanced over and raised an eyebrow at me. I’d clearly failed.

‘Sorry. Didn’t realize it was a sore subject.’

I forced myself to relax. ‘It’s all right. I just don’t like him. People think he’s a really great guy, and he’s not.’

‘Okay.’ She dropped it, and I was grateful for that.

‘What about your family?’ I asked, hoping to turn the spotlight off me for a moment.

Brooke groaned. ‘We are … dysfunctional.’

‘Dysfunctional how?’