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‘Mitchell was physically abusing Dederich’s son, and potentially a few other children in the youth program he was responsible for. I can’t tell you much more than that, because there’s a court case pending, but that’s the information that’s going to be publicly released.’

‘Everyone’s going to know?’ I asked, not liking how small my voice came out.

‘They’re going to know Mitchell Covier has been accused of abusing children in the youth program, and that Thomas Dederich has been charged with second-degree murder,’ she said. ‘Your name won’t be mentioned.’

I reached for my coffee again, needing some time to put my thoughts in order.

‘I’m not sorry he’s dead,’ I said.

‘I really don’t blame you for feeling that way,’ Lena replied.

‘Mr Dederich … he’s not a bad person. If they need someone to give, like, a statement or something …’

‘You’d do that?’ Lena asked.

‘Yeah. If he wants that.’ The thought of speaking to the police voluntarily, or even getting up in court and telling ajudge and jury what the Creep had done to me, made me feel sick, but it was the right thing to do. ‘Mr Dederich was just a parent trying to protect his kid.’

‘I’ll make sure that gets passed on to his lawyer. You’re a brave young woman, Jessie.’

I huffed a laugh. ‘Not really.’

‘I think so.’

‘If I was, I would’ve said something a long time ago.’ The guilt would eat at me for a long time to come.

‘You can’t change that. Or anything else that happened. But it seems like you’re making very mature decisions now.’

I wasn’t so sure about that, either. Brooke and I had made a whole bunch of stupid decisions alongside the really good ones, and I could guess why people weren’t exactly jumping at the idea of us being allowed to see each other again.

My heart hurt.

I was desperate for Brooke and that wild freedom we’d found together, and even though I knew real life wasn’t like that, I missed it. I wanted to be in the Mustang again, with the wind in our hair, half singing, half screaming the lyrics of some eighties rock band.

Being back in Seattle with the prospect of facing my demons – and my mom – was harder than I’d thought it would be. Even though I had Lena and her endless patience backing me up, I knew the hard part was still to come. Sooner or later, I’d have to do the mature stuff she thought I was capable of and face the music.

‘One step at a time,’ I murmured, remembering my mom’s instructions.

Lena nodded. ‘You don’t have to handle all of this at once,’ she said, like she was reading my mind.

‘Thank you,’ I said. ‘For …’ I waved my hand around, hoping to capture everything she was doing for me.

‘Any time,’ she said. ‘You know, there’s an awful lot that’s not in those notes, Jessie. If you ever feel like telling me what you got up to on that road trip, I’m all ears.’

I laughed. ‘Maybe one day.’

She sipped her vividly green drink. ‘I’ll hold you to that,’ she said, grinning at me over the rim of the cup.

It turned out I wasn’t allowed to see Brooke on my own – we had to have a chaperone, as per the agreement between Lena, my social worker and Brooke’s parents. I guessed that was because the last time anyone had seen the two of us together, she had been holding a gun to my head. I couldn’t blame them for being apprehensive, even if it was annoying.

Brooke came to Lena’s house, and Lena sat in an armchair in her living room, with her fat ginger cat on her lap, reading a book, and generally trying to make herself invisible.

I answered the door and stared at her for what felt like forever.

‘Hi.’

‘Hey.’

I opened my mouth, then closed it again. ‘I wasn’t sure if you’d want to see me,’ I said eventually.