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‘Maybe you can get a job as a princess,’ I said. I straightened up, planting my hands on the tabletop so I could tip my face up to the sky. The rain felt nice on my hot cheeks.

‘We’ll get you a blonde wig and you can be Tinker Bell,’ she replied.

I snorted. ‘Nah, I can be one of the people they hide inside those giant suits. Like Mickey Mouse.’ No one wanted to see me on a parade float. Not compared to Brooke.

‘No,’ she said emphatically. ‘They need girls like you to play the little characters.’

‘Because I’m short?’ I said with a laugh.

‘Short and cute,’ she replied, and, while I was still reeling, trying to figure out what that meant, she changed the subject. ‘We should get rid of our phones now.’

‘Do you need to call anyone before we do that?’ I asked, wanting to check, just in case. ‘Your mom or anyone?’

‘No,’ Brooke said sharply.

I dared to glance at her. She didn’t look angry, but she clearly wasn’t happy.

It was none of my business. I wouldn’t pry.

I trailed after her as she followed a dirt path, muddy and overgrown with plants. A few steps along it and suddenly we were enveloped by trees, the branches thick overhead and the clean, loamy smell of the soil filling the air. If I livedsomewhere other than the city, I would go for hikes all the time. I loved the feeling of isolation, of being so far away from other people that I didn’t have to be constantly on high alert, wondering if I needed to watch my words or actions in case someone lashed out. Places like this felt like magic to me.

We emerged by the side of a lake in a burst of light, and apart from the pattering rain rippling the surface of the water, it was still and peaceful out here.

‘There,’ Brooke said with a suddenly intense look on her face. ‘We’ll throw them in the lake.’

‘Isn’t that a bit … dramatic?’

Brooke grinned and shrugged. ‘I don’t mind a little drama.’

That made me smile as I pulled my phone out of my pocket. The screen was cracked in one corner, but I hadn’t had the cash to replace it.

I held up my phone and she did the same. ‘On three?’

She nodded.

‘One.’

‘Two.’

‘Three,’ we said together, and hurled the phones out into the water. Mine landed first, Brooke’s half a second later, both making hugesploshes as they sank.

It only occurred to me then that I didn’t have my mom’s phone number saved anywhere. It was stored in my phone, which was now at the bottom of this lake. I couldn’t call her, even if I wanted to. I forced myself to ignore the sudden nausea.

Deep down, though, I knew I wasn’t ready to face her or the judgment that would follow. Our relationship had been complicated recently, but she was still my mom. I had no idea if she would ever forgive me for what had happened.

I looked back at Brooke. She seemed to be breathing a little harder than usual.

‘You okay?’ I asked.

She nodded sharply. ‘It’s, like … really gone.’

‘It really is. Unless you want to go for a swim.’

Her laugh sounded more startled than amused. ‘And happen to have a really big bag of rice in the trunk of the car.’

‘Do you?’ I asked.

‘No, I left it at home this time.’