Page 91 of Revelry

“I’m fine.” Coop pushes my hands away and staggers to his feet. “You good now? You got it out of your system?”

Levi laughs. “No, I’m just getting started.”

“No, you’re not. This is exactly why I’m leaving,” I say, glancing between them. “Look at us—we’re tearing one another apart. Whatever this is, whatever we have here, isn’t worth it.”

“Nice to see you care so much,” Levi says through gritted teeth.

“God damn it, Levi, would you stop already?” I hiss. “This isn’t going to get any better. We’re just going to continue to hurt one another if I stay.”

“We’re gonna fuckin’ hurt anyway, Red,” Levi shouts, his voice breaking on his nickname for me.

I pull his face down to mine, resting my forehead against his. Tears trail down my cheeks and I glance back at Coop. “I can’t do this anymore. It’s not normal, to feel like this.”

I step out around Levi, tugging my arm free from his grasp when he yanks on it.

“Ali.”

I close the door behind me and lean against it for a moment, and then I retreat to my bunk. In a few more hours we’ll drive through the Charleston city limits. I’ll pack my stuff when they’re in sound check and leave soon after, during the show.

And then I’ll hop a plane back home and put this whole mess to bed, where I shouldn’t have taken the rock stars.

Isit in the kitchenette, sipping a glass of Jack to calm my nerves as I stare at my bag. I’d planned to leave during their show, but it felt all wrong.Everythingfeels wrong. I know now that I can’t leave without a goodbye; it may be the last time I see either of them, and I can’t have that. They deserve better than that. Looking back, it was foolish of me to believe that no one would become attached. I can’t choose one without hurting the other, without tearing the band apart. I wish this had just been about sex. I wish we’d been able to keep our feelings separate. I wish that the idea of leaving didn’t hurt so bad.I wish for a lot of things.

I wipe away the fresh set of tears that spill over my cheeks, and pour myself another drink to steel my nerves. The familiar whoosh of the bus’s front door opening has my hands clenching into fists in anticipation, but when the sounds of the concert infiltrate the bus, I let out a sigh of relief, knowing that I still have another thirty minutes or so before their show ends.

“Hey, Ali,” Leif says as he walks through the curtain-offed driver’s area and into the bus. “You’re missing the show.”

“Yeah. I didn’t feel up to it tonight.”

“I get it. Those groupies are pretty intense, huh?” He grabs a glass from the cabinet and sits opposite me, filling his cup with Jack. He attempts to refill mine, but I shake my head. I’d do plenty of drinking on the way home, I’d drink for all three of us, but I’d had enough for tonight.

“You going somewhere?” Leif asks. I glance at the bag sitting on the seat beside me, and then I give him a half smile and set the bag down at my feet.

“Yeah. I am.”

His eyebrows knit together as he studies my face. “Where?”

“Home.”

“What do the boys have to say about that?”

“It’s not really up to them.”

“You don’t think you owe them for bringing you along on this tour? I mean, they went out on a limb for you. That bitch at the record company was going to fire you—Cooper kept that from happening. He’s paid your airfare and your wages the whole time you’ve been here.”

I still, with my drink halfway to my lips.

“What?” I ask, certain that I didn’t hear that right.

“He told me. Or he told the others, and Zed mentioned it to me.”

“That’s not right. My flights were paid for by the record company, and the payments came from them, not Cooper.”

“Yeah, but he was the one paying your wage to them.”

“Why would he do that?”

Leif shrugs. “Beats the shit outta me. Seems like an expensive way to keep some pretty pussy around.”