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Sure, I offer to send him money for his physical therapy and anything else he needs, but he wouldn’t even be in this situation if it weren’t for me, and he refuses my money anyhow. He’s successful all on his own, but I still wish he’d take something from melike I took everything from him.But nothing I give him could ever compare to what my reckless thrill-seeking cost him.
Worse yet, I don’t think I’d even be here if it weren’t for rugby.
Or at least, not without the guys who introduced me to the sport.
When Carlos made me move here to followourdreams of playing football professionally, I thought I could do it. Really, I had tried. I didn’t want my scholarship to go to waste, but everything I did felt like a disservice to him, and it dragged me down to the very pits of hell.
I haven’t considered ending my life in a really long time, but the closer we get to this fundraiser, the more my mind takes me to that horrible headspace I was in when I first moved here.
If it hadn’t been for the group of guys playing rugby that day in the park, looking for an extra player and willing to teach me, I wouldn’t be where I am today.
Hell, I probably wouldn’t beanywherebut six feet under.
I’m thankful every day that I’m not, but my chest still aches from the thought of everything Carlos has had stolen from him.
And it's all because of me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
SUNDAY, APRIL 20
The couch dipswhere Letty takes a seat beside me, a giant cup of coffee in her hands as she tucks one leg under her.
“You called it an early night the other day,” she remarks, eyeing me speculatively through thick lashes.
“Guess so,” I say, peering back down at my laptop with the blank screen still in front of me, unchanged from how it was an hour ago.
“Mija, you know you can’t play those games with me. You’ve got something on your mind; the least you can do is let me help you with that homework assignment you’ve been staring at all morning,” she says, scooting closer to me.
“It’s fine, really. I just don’t know what to write about.”
She quirks a dark brow at me, pulling my laptop out of my hands and settling it on the armrest on her side of the couch.
“Is that because a certain coach is on your mind?” she asks, her full lips turning up in a smirk.
“You know, it’s not, but thanks for asking,” I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes.
“Ajá!” she shouts, jabbing a finger at me. “So you admit youarethinking about him!”
I slump into the cushions, clenching my eyes shut and shoving a throw pillow over my face to scream into it.
“Yes! Alright?” I shout, tossing the pillow between us, frustration leaching into my words.
My jaw aches, and I can feel my pulse pounding in my temples as the grin widens on Letty’s annoyingly flawless face. It should really be illegal to look that fucking pretty all the time.
Hell, she’s one of my best friends andI’d fuck her.
“And you want to sleep with him, right?”
I narrow my eyes at her, pinching my lips together in defiance.
“Answer the question, Elise,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest, making her enormous tits look even more luscious.
“Would you put those things away? They’re distracting,” I say, nodding my chin at her chest.
“Stop changing the subject. You have a thing for our coach. Now admit it.”
“Fine. Yes,” I say, my voice sounding whiny and annoying. “I want him to fill every one of my holes and make me fucking beg for it.Now,can you help me with this essay?”