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You are brothers first. Always.

I placed the letter back in the envelope and handed it to Sammy.

A shuddered breath left him. “It feels like just yesterday that we lost them.”

“I know.” We stood shoulder to shoulder, staring down at our parents’ headstone. Two months had passed since Ainsley was stabbed. Sammy never pushed to visit Mom and Dad’s graves, but I knew he needed it. So after leaving Ainsley in my bed, I called up my brother and we spent the morning together. We hadn’t hung out just the two of us in months, so I knew that we both needed this. Some brother time.

“How’s Mouse doing?” Sammy asked, changing the subject because he was feeling uncomfortable. I knew because I felt it too. We didn’t like talking about how much it hurt to lose our mom and dad because, well, it fucking hurt. They were taken from us far too soon, but I also knew that we weren’t the only ones hurting. Every time the crew who had known our parents, saw us, you could see the pain in their eyes because we both looked like our dad.

“She’s doing well but she wouldn’t want you worrying about her.” It was one of the things I loved about Ainsley. She and Sammy became close quickly. He now referred to her as ‘Sis’ and I couldn’t be happier that they were getting along.

“I know.” He pulled the smoke from behind his ear and stuck it between his lips. “Red and I started...well...you know.”

I glanced at him. “Good.”

He nodded once. “It’s very good. Only woman I’ve ever met who can handle my mood swings.”

“Poor thing.” I playfully nudged him in the shoulder.

“She likes it and I like when she calls me out on my shit. She’s a brat and I love that even more.” A hint of amusement flashed in his dark eyes. “Anyway, thank you for this morning. And please thank your girl for me.”

“I will.”

He nodded again, kissed the tips of his fingers and touched the top of the headstone that had our parents’ names on them. “I love you, Mama and Pop. I hope to one day have a love as strong as yours. Maybe it’ll be with Red like I’m hoping.”

A lump formed in my throat, never hearing my brother talk about love at all. I knew he loved me and our extended family, but he never mentioned love once when it came to the women he was with.

“I’m gonna head out of town for a bit,” he said, walking past me.

“Drive safe, brother.” I shoved my hands in my pockets, staring down at the headstone. “I miss you. Both of you,” I muttered.

A gust of wind suddenly billowed around me, sending up a pile of leaves and flower petals. I didn’t overly believe in life after death and was definitely not a religious person, but I did believe in signs. I also believed in fate.

Ainsley thanked me often for saving her, when really, she saved me. No, sherescuedme.

From myself.

From the pain and constant agony of losing our parents far too soon.

Because of her, my beautiful fiancée and sub, I could take a step forward and finally live a life my parents would be proud of.

Ainsley

Eyes down.

Palms up.

Breathe.

Don’t make eye contact unless I’m told to.

Don’t utter a single word unless I’m asked to speak.

Do as you’re told unless I was feeling uncomfortable or needed to talk about it.

Breathe.

Don’t talk back.