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Was it the meal last night?

Was it the fact that I wasmarriedto mystepbrother?

A change in the seasons?

My gut heaved at me, and I ran to the bathroom, barely making it in the door before throwing up in the toilet.

Those pregnancy tests looked almost tauntingly over at me. Where most people had fancy soaps or extra toothbrushes on their counter organizers, Saul had stuffed mine with a regular cornucopia of pregnancy tests, all different brands, as well as big bottles of prenatal vitamins and some ginger chews for nausea.

Before I could scare myself, I ripped one of the tests from its packaging, and pissed on it.

Then I waited, nervously pacing back and forth on the tiled floor.

Surely it was too early to tell. Either way.

I hadn’t even gotten a chance to escape him yet.

It would be inconclusive and then I could devote my time to making escape plans.

After all, Saul Brennan was the last person I ever wanted to have a child with.

Right? He was a godsdamn psychopath, after all.

I shoved any doubts away and looked resolutely at the test.

Positive!

The pink line was faint, but it wasthere. Unmistakably there.

Pregnant

I pressed my hand tight over my mouth to stop the bubble of hysterical laughter.

Of course Saul would get me pregnant on the first shot.

Of course I’d be so pregnant, so fast that the line would be this strong days before my period was even due.

As I sunk my head in my hands, my ruby-red ring jabbed into my skull, like the fangs of a serpent.

What was Nimhe without his fangs? What was Nimhe without his Eye? What kind of god was Nimhe if he could be bested by my husband?

I ripped the ring off my finger and threw it in the garbage.

It was like some twisted demon I didn’t recognize got a hold of my body and made it move to his will.

I felt almost mad with anger at Saul.

It was all his fault. Everything. Ever since I had met him, he had been nothing but trouble.

I remembered what had happened the first time he had ever kissed me.

It was after those boys had died. I could still hear the rattle of breath in his lungs as he gasped through the broken bones, I could still see the look in his eyes as the dark shock of hair fell over his battered face.

But he kissed me anyway.

And as soon as I felt those lips on mine, I planned that birth control, knew I would have to do whatever it took to get Saul away from me.

Because that kiss tasted like something more than just desire. It tasted like dangerous, unnatural obsession.