Page 125 of Relationship Goals

Love? Love?!

Who the hell does he think he is?

I’m fuming. It’s one thing to lie about liking me, to use me to get ahead, and to get me in bed all while making me think he genuinely cares—but calling melove?

Oh, he’s about to get a live fucking theater experience ofLord of the Rings.

Yeah!

It’ll be the cock-blockbuster showing of his lifetime.

An evil laugh burbles out of me, and Lauren breaks off whatever conversation she’s struck up with the Aces coach to turn a concerned eye on me.

“I gotta go,” I say to her jovially, my spirits buoyed by the pure chaos burning through my veins. “Things to do, costumes to secure.”

“Okay, bye,” she says, looking slightly terrified. “Uh, thanks again for inviting me here.”

“You were perfect,” I tell her, and even though it didn’t go how I wanted, with stupid Luke defending me to his whole stupid team, I’m grateful she made time for me. And saidanusan inappropriate number of times.

Can’t fault the woman there.

•••

The tip ofDarren’s tongue sticks out as he concentrates, misting setting spray over my face.

“There,” he says, sitting back to take in the effects of several hours of hard work.

“How do I look?” I ask, attempting to bat my lashes. Unfortunately, my face doesn’t allow that to happen.

“Horrendous. God-awful. Disgusting.” Darren’s lip curls.

“Perfect.” I clap my hands together in glee. “Let me see.” I half stand, and the vision that meets me in the mirror is truly something spectacular.

A few wisps of greasy gray hair hang lank across my otherwise bald head. My nose is flatter, thanks to the power of contour, and he’s somehow managed to make my nostrils seem larger. I turn my head, admiring the overlarge ears.

“I mean, I’m happy to have the chance to try out some of my special effects prosthetics, but it’s also kind of like ruining my favorite canvas,” Darren laments with a sigh. “Here, let me take some pictures for my portfolio.”

“You are legitimately the best. A king among kings. The emperor of makeup. The demigod of contour.” I tighten the back of my throat and drop into my admittedly immaculate Gollum impression. “My preciousss,” I lisp at him.

“I fucking hate it,” Darren says with a laugh, shaking his head as he pulls out the fancy camera he reserves for before and afters. “Can I put it on my socials?”

“It?” I sniff. “We are not an it, precious.”

“Seriously, stop. You are freaking me out.”

“Of course you can. But maybe wait until after tonight. I don’t want anyone giving him a heads-up.”

“Fair enough,” Darren agrees, raising the camera and clicking away. “God. It’s even worse in high-def.”

“Proud of you,” I trill, beyond pleased. “You think this will work?”

“Do I think you role-playing Gollum while Luke Wolfe thinks you’re going to Netflix and chill will scare him off?” He laughs again. “Honestly? I don’t know. It would scare me off, that’s for damn sure. But I also…”

I bristle. “You also what?”

“I also think he’s motivated to stay with you.”

“Right,” I say. Because someone is making him stay with me. Fucking asshole. “Teeth,” I demand, doingGimmehands.