Page 55 of Redd

She wouldn't be here with me if she really wanted to die. I knew that, it didn't matter that she had begged me to kill her earlier. Not one word was said with truth. Her pleas left her mouth on desperation and sadness.

Closing my eyes, I could see the determined expression on her face when she pulled that trigger to stop Val. Bijou had been strong when I was weak.

And that hit me, it made my lungs squeeze out every ounce of air until I wasn't breathing. My skin warmed, my nerves exploded, my body came alive, shedding its hardened shell.

Bijou was fucking sexy as hell holding that gun.

My cock jumped at the image, thickening for all the wrong reasons. I shouldn't have felt this excited over something so dark. I shouldn't get turned on from her wielding a weapon and lashing out like a wild animal.

Growling, I squeezed the counter like I was trying to break a piece off. She deserved a good life, the life she should have had if that man had never stepped in and changed her path.

I couldn't give her anything different. I knew that. Not with my past. She'd have questions, and she'd deserve honest answers. I wouldn't be able to lie to her.

Turning on the water, I splashed my face. Keeping my head in the sink, I felt the droplets run down the bridge of my nose and watched them splash against the steel.

Get it together! Get your fucking head straight, you can't be thinking like this.

You'll only hurt her.

She'd never want a monster like me. . .

Tearing a few paper towels off the roll, I dried my skin and let out a heavy breath. “Fuck.”

“What was that?” she asked, stepping around the corner.

“What?”

“I thought I heard you say something?”

Shaking my head, I balled up the paper towels and tossed them into trash. “Nothing, I was just talking to myself.”

“You do that too?” Rubbing her arms over each other, she crossed her leg and pressed her toes into the floor as she giggled.

Her laugh was sweet and light, not awkward and forced. A gentle smile lifted the corner of her lip as her long lashes splashed her cheeks with a single blink.

The sweater was big around her body, belling out at the bottom as it hung off her waist. The pants actually fit her pretty good, clinging tightly to her legs and painting them in liquid black.

“Yeah, it happens. I don't usually talk to myself with other people around, but shit hasn't exactly been normal.” Glancing at the clock on the stove, I counted the time in my head. “We've got about an hour before we need to go grab Vicki.”

“Well, the house is all clean now, so that's good.” Looking around, she began to tease the ends of her hair. “You can't even tell I lit a grenade in here earlier.” Forcing another smile, her shoulder slumped against the doorway. “That won't happen again.” Holding out her hand, she patted the air. “I'm really sorry I did that.”

What the hell?

Taking a step forward, I reached for her fingers. “Here, let me see.”

Her eyes opened wide, hand jerking away as she stuffed it behind her back. “See what? There's nothing to see.”

“Let me see your hand.”

“Why?”

“Can I just see?”

“I told you there's nothing to see.” Tucking her hands into her armpits, she crossed her arms tight over her chest.

Cocking my head, I gave her a stern look. “Hand, now.” My voice came out in the same tone as if I was giving my sister orders to clean up her room. I didn't mean to sound so parental, but after six years of playing the role, it came natural.

Sighing, her eyes pinched, nose crinkling up as she turned her head to the side and released her arms from her ribs. “Here, happy now?” holding out her right hand, she flipped it over and back again.