Page 38

Story: Promise Me, Katie

Hearing the anguish in her voice drew Matthew away from his own despair, and he looked up to see the tears flowing down her face.

“I don’t know if anyone ever told you, but I was once married to Officer Maxwell Chandler.”

Matthew shook his head because, technically, it was true. No one had told him directly about Katherine being married to Max. In his short time on the force, no one even spoke of Max, so he hadn’t bothered to ask about him when he saw his picture on the fallen officers’ wall at city hall.

Still, in the months that followed meeting Katherine, little by little, pieces of her story started to come together from a variety of sources.

Then, watching and listening to her in their Grief Group sessions revealed even more of the puzzle. Small pieces. But enough to know that the circumstances around the fire that took her husband’s life left a deeper scar on Katherine than simply losing a loved one. And Matthew sensed a deeper devastation in Katherine’s past. Like loss compounded by betrayal. Maybe even a betrayal like the kind he’d gone through with Julia.

“Max was killed in a fire that destroyed mylife. Like you, I wasn’t there, but I felt like there was something I could’ve done. And I went over it countless times in my mind. So, trust me, I understand. I also understand that the what-ifs will tear you apart if you let them.”

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Matthew said, getting to his feet and going to where Katherine stood as she wiped her tears away.

“I’m sorry foryourloss. And I’m sorry I never said that until now.”

“Does it bring up bad memories?”

“Maybe.” She looked into his eyes. “They say it gets easier with time, but sometimes I’d like to just punchtheyright in the face.”

“I know what you mean. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to punch something or, even better, someone.”

“I could make a list of deserving candidates.”Katherine smiled, and Matthew smiled back.

“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.”

Suddenly, Katherine felt very aware of how close they were and took a cautious step back. “So—stupid question of the day—how are you?”

“Who says your question is the only stupid one today?”

Katherine sighed, shaking her head. “Get used to those. Five years later, and I’m still getting them.”

“Five years? Really?”

“Actually, it’s almost six years now.”

“I didn’t realize it’d been that long. You were so young.”

“Yep.” Katherine bit her lip and looked away so she wouldn’t start to cry again. “How’s Libby?”

“Oh, geez, Libby Doll!” Matthew panicked, turning to take long strides back toward the screen door.

“What’s wrong?” Katherine asked, fear gripping her heart.

“I have to check on her. I only meant to come out for just a minute.”

“But you’re too upset right now,” Katherine said, following Matthew inside the house and through the kitchen to the bottom of a long flight of stairs before stopping him. “Let me do it.”

The way he searched her eyes, she got the sense that he wasn’t convinced she really wanted to help.

“It’s okay. I know what I’m doing.”

Katherine’s heart pounded as words she couldn’t believe she’d said rolled off her tongue. It had been years since she’d been around a baby, and she wasn’t sure she’d remember what to do. Or if she could even do it at all. But the sudden need to be there for him couldn’t be stopped.

“Let me help you.”

Matthew didn’t pull away nor did he deny her request. Instead, he just stared into her eyes with a longing she’d never seen before. And when he reached out to touch her cheek, the intensity of his expression softened.

“I know I didn’tmake the accident happen. But I got so damn tired of Julia taking us for granted that I was ready for her to leave. She was so hell-bent on pushing us away anyway. I just kept thinking it was time for her to go and that Libby deserved better.”