Page 62

"I don't think—" Luca starts.

"That's fine, Teagan," River says quickly, shooting Luca a glare. "Go ahead."

"Yeah…okay," Luca says. "Let me know if you need anything."

"Okay," I say. Cautiously, slowly, I grab my coffee mug from the table—like if I move too quickly, I might trigger him again and end up back in handcuffs. "Thanks for the coffee…and the orgasms."

His worried expression relaxes into a smile, and I feel relief.

"Anytime," he says.

I close the door to Layla's room and almost flip the lock before remembering how pointless it is. Then, I pull my aching body into bed, open Stephen King'sDoctor Sleep, one of my favorites, and stare at the pages.

I must have fallen asleep, because when River enters the room, it's dark outside again. Her arms are lined with shopping bags, and she sets them all down at the foot of the bed.

"Wait until you see everything I got," she says excitedly. "I hope you love it. I haven't been shopping in forever. Oh, and this bag has a couple of bikinis in it if you want to get in the hot tub."

"Thanks," I tell her.

I watch her take out each item and hold it up for me; there must be thousands of dollars worth of designer clothes in those bags. And she's—or he's—just giving them to me like it's nothing.

I pick up a pair of black denim pants with slits at the top of the thighs. "I love these," I say.

"Aren't they cute?" she says. "I thought they looked like you."

The price tag catches my eye—$790.

"Holy shit…"

"They won't even notice it," River says. "Seriously, don't even think about it. I spent a good amount of money on myself and Hazel, too. The woman following me around the store looked like she lost a bet or something when I pulled out that card, and it went through. It was hilarious."

"Yeah, I bet."

"People are going to start showing up soon," she says. "I don't know if you're in the mood to party, but Declan wants to see the rest of us celebrating, so I'd better go."

"I'm going to go get in the hot tub before they get here."

"Luca is going to ask me if you're okay."

"I'm still processing this shit," I tell her. "I watched her die, Riv. They didn't try to help her, they didn't cry. Declan was happy."

"I'm sure that was hard for you to see. I know you don't see life the way we do, but…she chose to die, Teagan. Life is precious and beautiful, and death is just as beautiful. Those are the only two true magics on Earth. Try to separate what society tells you is true from what you saw with your own eyes—was there no part of it that was beautiful?"

I start to replay the scene in my head for about the millionth time. I see the elation on Layla's face as she knelt in front of me, I see her float across the yard in a white nightgown, the moonlight reflecting off the knife in her hand. Her bloody smile when Declan laid down next to her in the grass and told her he forgave her.

If I think only of her and the agony she was in, I guess maybe I could see the beauty in it. Shewasthe happiest I'd seen her, itwasthe end of her suffering.

In a way, it was…pure.

But he didn't tell her he loved her. And he didn't weep for her. After two years together, he thanked her for dying, and he was glad.

All over spilled blood. Alleged power.

My heart pounds in my chest, and I quickly put the image out of my mind. Ican'tthink of death that way.

"Not to me," I tell her.

"Well…okay," she says. "I'm going to go put on some of my new clothes. I'll talk to you later."