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"I'm okay with that," he says.

I cross the balcony, sit in his lap, and he hands me the cigarette. I take a drag and then hand it back to him.

He points to his collarbone. "Right here."

I rest my head against the spot just under his chin, and he says, "See how well you fit there, kitten?"

I can only nod, and he passes me the cigarette again.

"You're wearing my shirt," he says.

"Yeah…sorry."

"No, it's fine. I like it, it's just…how are you feeling?" he asks.

"My head feels like it's going to explode. I think I might throw up. My body hurts."

He puts the cigarette out and wraps his arms around me.

"I'll give you something for that. And we can sleep all day. How does that sound?"

"That sounds…really good," I tell him.

"Okay," he says.

He stands with me still in his arms; it takes me by surprise, and I scream.

"Oh, god! Don't drop me!" I say, squeezing my eyes shut tight.

"How in the fuck would I drop you?" he asks as he walks inside.

"I'm terrified of heights!"

He sets me down on the bed and then uses the flashlight on his phone to find a pill bottle in his bag. I hear him shake one out into his hand, and then he grabs a water bottle from the fridge and brings them both to me. I wash down the pill and aboutthree-fourths of the water bottle; he takes it back and finishes it off, then crawls under the covers next to me.

I lie back on the pillow and close my eyes.

"No," he says.

"No what?"

"This spot right here, kitten," he says.

I sigh and do as he asks, curling into him with my head tucked into that space under his chin, where I do seem to fit perfectly.

And he's in that place he so seamlessly—so slowly at first that I didn't notice it until it was too late—worked his way into.

Under my skin.

I fall asleep listening to the thud of his heart in his chest.

At least when this all falls apart, if anyone ever asks, I can tell them that I know without a doubt that it did, in fact, beat.

EIGHTEEN

We spend one more day in Reno, then two in Boise, and another two in Salt Lake City before another long drive to Denver. And if I don't think about it like they said, I think I could do this forever, and I'd never get tired of it—the music, the parties. Never being alone—not unless I want to.

Never beinglonely.