Page 167

And I'm worried he'll disappear if I do.

"Your heart is racing, Teagan," he says. "What's got my kitten so worried? I told you it would all be okay; I made it go away, didn't I?"

I know that. I just don't want him to go away, too. I slip my hand inside his shirt, feeling around for the bandage on his chest, just to make sure it was all real.

"Ah, I see," Declan says. "You don't need to worry about that, either. I promise."

He whispers the last part, nuzzling his cheek against mine before tilting my chin up and kissing me.

Now this.Thisis a drug.

Mydrug of choice.

It turns out I didn't get to pick my poison. And I can see now why Luca, a man of many poisons, had been starving for it.

"I need to make some calls," Declan says. "I'll see you downstairs."

He sets me down on Luca's lap and disappears into the bedroom.

"Is there something going on?" I ask Luca.

"Eli left," Luca says. "For good. He quit the band, left super early this morning."

"What's Declan going to do?" I ask.

"Try to find someone else to fill in for these last two shows," he says, pulling both of us to our feet. He takes my hand and we walk toward the doorway. "And then hire someone else over the summer. It's not that big of a deal. Eli knows better than to talk,and bands cycle in new members all the time. What the fuck are you wearing?"

"Your friends gave me this," I tell him as we step into the hallway.

Right in front of River and Hazel.

"Oh…hey, Riv," I say. "You look…"

Sick. She looks sick. Her skin is grey, her expression sullen. The bags under her lifeless blue eyes are dark and heavy. I doubt she slept at all.

And Eli left, too. And I know that hurt them both.

"Good morning, Teagan," Hazel says as they hurry past me.

"She was mad at me, too," Luca says once we're inside our room. "About Heidi. She'll get over it. She's just…a gentle soul. She doesn't understand why we all can't just get along."

"So, I take it she's never met your masked friends or been to one of their parties."

He laughs. "Oh, god no. But Haze has been with Declan. You two have something else in common now, too."

"What's that?"

"You've both killed someone for hurting someone you love."

For Riv, then. It has to be River—they met when they were young. And in foster care.

And River is afraid of men.

"It's not my story to tell," Luca says, likely sensing the wheels turning in my head. "But…she forgave me even though I'm not the good guy."

"I'm not the good guy, either," I tell him.

"Maybe not," he says. "But you're my guardian angel even if I don't deserve it. That's worth something, right?"