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If nothing else, I’d try to swallow back all the regrets and try to act as if I were excited, if only for everyone else. I raised my chin, looking farther down the aisle and finding Kaden watching me approach. He was clearly trying to embrace the moment for them as well, and he was faking it better than I was. His eyes ran over the length of me as if he were truly in awe.

Tiber stopped beside him, placing my hand in Kaden’s.

“I give you this woman with good blessings. May your mating be strong and enduring.”

Tiber put Kaden’s other hand on top of mine. I wasn’t sure if it was to be reassuring or he was afraid I’d take off and ruin the illusion. I wouldn’t. I was truly trapped, and by my own devices.

Samual began to speak. “May this mating bring healing to our people…”

That brought a fresh surge of nausea. After that, I barely heard what else was said. At some point Kaden squeezed my hand and tilted his head toward Sam, and I tried to murmur agreements when prompted, not sure what I was saying.

Then our hands were being wrapped together.

Kaden leaned down and brushed a kiss over my mouth, lingering long enough that it didn’t look too chaste.

A cheer went through the crowd, and I realized I was now not only mated but, by my standards,married.

Kaden steered me toward where tables had been set up with a hand at the small of my back. He leaned down, as if whispering sweet secrets in my ear. “Try not to look like you’re at a funeral.”

It was enough to jolt me out of my haze. I forced a laugh, as if he’d told me something funny. I committed the smile to staying on my face, knowing these people expected this.

A cheer went through the crowd, and then music was played.

Kaden led me to the center of the clearing and took me in his arms, leaning down to whisper in my ear, “Do you want me to help you relax?”

“No.” Something about having to be mentally drugged in order to get through my wedding day seemed to make the whole thing feel even more sordid. And thiswasmy wedding day, intended or not.

As he led me around the clearing, his arms around me, the nerves did settle down. Maybe hehaddone something to me? I didn’t know and wasn’t going to ask.

We made our way back to the table, where someone had poured us wine. I drank more than half of mine. As much as I’d declared I hadn’t wanted to be drugged for my wedding, self-dosing on alcohol seemed normal enough to fly in my book.

People walked over, offering us congratulations. Even that began to blur as I continued to drink.

At some point, Kaden leaned nearer. “You’re drinking like a virgin on the night of her arranged marriage.”

I ignored him and then hiccupped, as if my subconscious was trying to agree with him. I didn’t care. I drank some more, and the laughs and smiles were finally coming a little easier.

I barely remembered the meal, or a cake if there was one. Another unknown amount of wine later and Kaden was getting to his feet, and then scooping me up in his arms to the cheers of our guests.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“To the house before you fall out of your seat,” he said.

Chapter Fourteen

I stood in the bedroom, realizing that I had no way to get undressed without ripping the beautiful silver strands. They were too many, placed too awkwardly for me to reach. Even if I were sober, forget half in the bag and barely keeping myself upright, this would’ve been impossible. Who had come up with this contraption?

Kaden walked over, his gaze skimming the length of me. He probably pitied me.

“You’re going to have to help me get out of this thing. I can’t imagine why it’s like this. The entire outfit is knots, and I can’t rip it. It’s not mine.”

He laughed softly. “That’s the point of it, I believe. It’s a traditional esposmata dress.” He gently skimmed his fingers along my waist where the tiny knots seemed the worst, his gaze intent. He was probably sizing up the effort needed, but the touch sent a little shiver down my spine.

“Okay, well, get to work so I can get this thing off.” His nearness and attention were making my body feel things I typically tried to ignore.

He gathered up my hair, almost reverently, and lifted it over my shoulder, before stepping behind me.

“I have to start at the top knot at the back of your neck.” His fingers grazed the nape of my neck.