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“How did you handle the shooting? You told me that you got triggered by the sound of gunfire last time you were in Ops. Any panic attacks?”
“No. And I didn’t completely freeze up when it happened either. We’ll see if I have any nightmares tonight, but I don’t think I will.”
“You did see three men get shot and killed.”
She took a sip of her coffee. “I know this is going to sound cold, but it didn’t bother me. Even now, when I think about it, I think Karma caught up with them. Harrison West admitted to killing his victims and making it look like suicide. My only regret is we didn’t get from him who he killed. I think knowing their daughter didn’t kill herself would bring a lot of closure to some parents.”
“Like Master Chief and Missus Rose?”
“Yes. Missus Rose is still beating herself up that she was too busy to notice that her daughter was suicidal.”
“Do you really think coming to terms with the fact that their daughter was murdered would be easier?”
“I think losing a daughter is horrible no matter how, but at least if it wasn’t by her own hand, there would have been nothing there for her mom to see and worry that she missed.” Laura Lee paused and shook her head. “I don’t know. You’re the shrink. You tell me.”
Lassiter chuckled. Then his facial expression turned more serious. “There are a lot of emotions that weigh on a person in either scenario. For me, personally, as a father, I’d want to know the truth. Unfortunately, in this case, we don’t know for sure what the truth is. Unless West left behind a full accounting of his actions, we can’t be one hundred percent sure the Rose girl was a victim of his set up, rape, and blackmail scheme, nor can we be one hundred percent sure if he killed her. I think any further communication with her parents needs to be tempered with caution.”
Laura Lee nodded. “I understand that. I just really would like to help that mother get some peace.”
“And perhaps you will. The FBI has confiscated all of West’s devices, and Liu’s. Shepherd has offered the team’s help in going through any device or account. And he’ll be kept in the loop of what they find.”
“West claimed to have a recording of his assault on me. If he made recordings of all his assaults, they have to be kept someplace.”
“And hopefully they’ll be found, if they exist,” Lassiter said. “So, the team is coming back to HQ tomorrow. You hope to be assigned to the Digital Team, and then what?”
“I hope to have Thanksgiving off to spend with my family. Shepherd doesn’t think they’ll have to be away for that much longer, not that a beach vacation for my sister and a specialist hospital for my mom has been a bad thing. I just hope this research facility can offer my mom a new treatment to help her with the Parkinson’s symptoms.”
“So, in the meantime, you stay in the apartment on nine?”
Laura Lee sucked a breath in. Did he know about her and Brad? Had Brad talked with him? She wasn’t ready to advertise their relationship, if that’s what it was. She still wasn’t sure. But she did plan to go to his place for dinner and spend the night tomorrow. Which reminded her she’d have to stop at a pharmacy for birth control. He said he’d get condoms, but she knew her using something too would be more effective.
“I thought it was an easy question,” Lassiter said when she didn’t answer.
“It should be,” she said nervously. “The truth is, I may not be staying there while in town. I’m not sure if I want to talk about this, or if I should, but you know that Brad, Dupont, and I are friends. Well, there is also an attraction there and we’ve talked about exploring a relationship.”
“Oh, Jesus, you two,” Lassiter said with a chuckle. “He was as cryptic as you are, tiptoeing around it. Why is it hard for you to just say I will probably be staying at Dupont’s place as he and I are involved? Or even just that you’ll be staying at his place. Stop, no need to say more.”
Laura Lee felt her cheeks heat. “I just don’t want to advertise it, I guess.”
“You haven’t had a serious relationship since the assault,” Lassiter said.
Laura Lee glanced away from the screen. “I haven’t had a romantic relationship since it happened,” she admitted.
“Laura, it’s okay to talk about it,” Lassiter said. “And I think you should talk with me, and you especially should talk about it with Dupont. He needs to know that you haven’t been with anyone since it happened. And he needs to know your triggers.”
“Joe, I’m not ready to talk to you about this.”
“Then you need to talk with Dupont about it, and if you can’t, then you’re not ready to be with him.”
“I guess I’ve just always thought that if being with someone felt right that I wouldn’t need to talk to him about it. I don’t want what happened to define who I am now.”
“I understand that,” Joe said. “But what you’re not accounting for is that there are certain things from an assault that stay with you that you don’t realize until you’re in an intimate situation again. The way someone touches you or the place you’re touched can unexpectedly affect you negatively. It can be something as little as a breath hitting you someplace that puts you back in the moment.”
“I don’t want him to tiptoe around me, afraid I’m going to freak out.”
“That’s not how he feels,” Joe said. “And for the record, I brought the topic up with him.”
She wasn’t sure how she felt about that. “Why would you?”