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“I think there’s still more she’s keeping to herself,” BT said.
“Like what?” Cooper asked.
“Why she doesn’t want to work Ops. No one has ever been as opposed to it as she was,” BT answered.
Shepherd tapped out a text message to Joe Lassiter to bring that subject up with her as well.
Laura Lee always hated meeting with Lassiter. She pushed through his outer office door and came face to face with him. He was tidying up his reception area, stacking magazines, and watering the couple of plants he had in the room. She forced a smile.
Lassiter set the watering can down and went to the door that led into his inner office area. “I was happy you reached out to me for this appointment.”
“I knew that if I talked about Harrison West and what happened, that I’d need to talk through the emotions. I planned my presentation to Shepherd in a way that would allow me to keep emotions out of it.”
“It came across as a mission report with no emotion. You succeeded.” He passed through the door and held it for her.
His tone of voice conveyed that he didn’t approve of how she’d handled it. “You think I was wrong to handle it that way?”
“What I think doesn’t matter. How do you think you did?”
Laura Lee entered his kitchenette ahead of him at his prompting. She got herself a bottle of water from his refrigerator. She sat in a chair facing the window that overlooked the mall. “I spent a lot of time preparing my presentation. I executed it as planned. I’m happy with how it went.”
Doctor Lassiter sat opposite her. “I’m curious. Why did you share this now?”
Laura Lee thought about that for a moment. “I’ve been agonizing over it since I saw Harrison West’s name on Michael’s paperwork. And after I was put on the probation because I had not submitted the coursework, I’ve thought of nothing else. I was so worried about myself that I hadn’t considered that he probably has done the same thing to other women, but that was what I realized when I was high on pain killers while in the hospital. I thought about that case the team worked in New Orleans and that was when it occurred to me that abusers don’t stop abusing.”
“You said you haven’t spoken with anyone about the assault,” Lassiter said.
“I told no one until the other night when I told Brad Dupont.”
“Why him?”
“We’re friends. He’s been visiting me during his breaks on the overnight shifts since I got out of the hospital. I had already started the research into other possible victims, and I needed to talk to someone about it. Lucky him.” Her voice held sarcasm with the last two words.
Lassiter’s lips pulled into a grin. “Let’s go back to when it happened. How did you get yourself through it if you didn’t talk to anyone?”
Laura Lee glanced out the window. “At first, I tried to forget about it. That didn’t work. I read some online self-help guides. I did a lot of deep breathing, and I had panic attacks. I just had one in the fifth-floor public ladies’ room,” she confessed.
“Is that the first time you’ve had a panic attack in the last year?”
“No, working in Ops gave me panic attacks. I was so worried I was going to see someone I knew shot and killed, and that brought back horrible memories for me.”
Lassiter waited. She didn’t elaborate. “What memories?”
“When I was four years old, my biologic dad was shot and killed. I saw it happen. Charles and Dorthea Saxton adopted me afterwards. Saxton was a Richmond cop. He was on the scene after it happened.” She hadn’t planned to divulge this, but she decided that while she was being honest, she might as well come clean with all of it. After all, she hadn’t been able to tell anyone about it throughout her entire life, but now, here, it was the safest place possible to divulge the secret.
Lassiter straightened in his seat. “That’s not in your file.”
“No, the Saxtons had connections. They buried my real name and the circumstances that brought me into their lives to protect me. My real name is Laurel Lee. My parents’ names were Denzel and Ruth Lee. They were community organizers who were trying to drive the gangs and drug dealers out of our neighborhood. My mother was run down on the street, a hit and run a few days before my father was shot. The Saxtons kept my memories of my birth parents alive when I was old enough to understand.”
“Charles Saxton was also shot and killed in the line of duty.”
“Yes, in the same neighborhood.” Laura Lee stared at him expectantly.
“I understand why Ops triggered you and caused the panic attacks to return. I wish I had known. I wish you would have come to talk to me. If you had, you would never have been assigned there. You’ve gone through a lot of anguish related to all of this. Please let me help you now.”
She was surprised by his words. “I was afraid to tell anyone.”
Lassiter nodded. “I understand. You’ve kept a lot in. You’ve dealt with these traumas alone. You’re not alone anymore, Laura Lee. I’m here for you and you have a lot of friends at the agency. Don’t you think it’s time to accept the help of your team?”