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Taking a deep breath, I reached for his chin, letting him see the appreciation firsthand. Hear the sincerity in my words. “Thank you.” He remained still, hanging on to my words when I added, “For today.”
Since the moment the two of us met, he had been there. For me, for his family, even for Enzo. And that was what I needed. I didn’t need anybody to speak for me, to deliver the threats, or to carry out hard tasks. I just needed them to be present. I neededhimpresent.
A familiar smile curled Maxim’s mouth. “You don’t want to chew my head off anymore?”
A sigh of relief left me. The humor hadn’t escaped him. With everything going on, he was more than entitled to a sober moment. Still, the second his playful smile reappeared, I relaxed.
“I considered it for a minute,” I shrugged playfully. “But I think I like it where it is,” I threw him a grin, “for now.”
We remained frozen in the moment, our heavy breaths in sync.
It wasn’t the years between us that caused me to hesitate. Not at all.
Rather, it was the unknown waters I was swimming in.
I wanted him. Needed him in a capacity I’d never been familiar with before. Even knowing that, I held back, self-aware of my inexperience. Sex came as naturally to me as breathing. Feelings, on the other hand, were a different story. Despite being in my twenties, relationships were
new to me.
If we were to do this, assuming he felt the same way, I wanted to do it right. Something deep within me whispered a promise of a future. That meant I had to open up to him.
I abandoned all fears and admitted, “I don’t know how to do this.”
The fireplace held our gazes as we braced for the turning point of this conversation.
Maxim inhaled deeply and, on the exhale, asked, “Do what?”
A somewhat bitter laugh escaped me. “Rely on somebody. For starters.”
“You managed today,” he pointed out.
I did.
Before I unraveled the thoughts of the day, I turned to him. “What are we?”
I should have felt exposed, yet I didn’t. Laying it all out there for this man felt… liberating. Safe. Intimate.
He leaned in, holding my chin between his fingers. “We can be whatever you want us to be.”
With a raised eyebrow, I studied him, wondering about the possibilities.
“You know why?” Maxim breathed the question in a steady exhale.
Taking the bait, I asked, “Why?”
The truth reflected in his eyes. “Because I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give me.”
I swallowed hard. “What if I don’t have enough to give?”
His eyes called my bullshit. A ghost of a smile touched his lips before he dragged out a prolonged, “Hmmm,” trailing his thumb across my bottom lip. “What if you have everything?”
A breathy laugh escaped me, whether it was at this situation or at him being all serious and proper, I couldn’t tell.
“If there’s anyone in this hell of a world who can handle me, it’s you,” I breathed out, barely a whisper, but it was enough.
The tips of his fingers dug into the back of my skull. Cold metal rings scraped my skin.
Maxim held my head still, but inside, a windstorm raged.