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Someone willing to scar his hands to pull the barbed wire lodged in the back of my neck. A memory only the two of us shared. As soon as I returned from deployment, tattoos covered the faded scars, erasing the evidence of the only time I allowed myself to be used for the greater good.
When I served as a human stepping stone for others, in the literal sense.
I knew Orest. Whoever Ravager was? That remained unanswered. He stuck around, eating his dinner in silence, his eyes solely on one person.
And he sure as fuck wasn’t sticking around for me.
My grip on the back of Taya’s neck tightened, the possessive claim obvious. My eyes didn’t communicate the threat to those in apparent need of a reminder. Instead, I searched her face for a reaction. When she rolled her eyes and smiled, I got my confirmation.
No one could come between us. Not even havoc himself.
Stuffed with food and cakes, we continued the Galkin traditions. The dining table was pushed against the wall to make space for a dance floor.
Music blasted from the stereo, songs a generation too old, even for the oldest in the family. Christmas lights twinkled in the space. Alisa went above and beyond for Christmas, her second favorite season. She even made eggnog. Well, something closer to vodka spiked with the essence of eggnog at that ratio. She forced everybody to drink the creation. Even Lorenzo couldn’t resist.
Lev and Orest were wary of the sudden change. They didn’t know us yet.
This was how we survived. We fought hard and balanced the scales by partying even harder.
When Taya’s hips swung in rhythm, my palms holding on tight as our family twirled around us, I might’ve just converted from the Grinch too.
So many questions plagued my mind. Where is Ilya? How will we stop the trafficking? Did I make the right choice? Have I doomed us all?
I leaned on the balcony rail, staring up at the sky. The clear January night stretched above us. I took a moment to find the brightest star and wondered what it was like to look down from the opposite side.
I never got closure.
There was no body to bury, no grave to visit. Whether I believed in the afterlife was irrelevant. Somewhere out there, she remained, in heaven, hell, or just an empty void.
“Merry Christmas, Mom,” I whispered to the stars.
A heavy breath escaped me. The traditions weren’t the same without them.Without her.
None of what I had done would make her proud. She warned me about this lifestyle, dedicating her life to protecting me, only to lose it in the process. When I looked back, the reasons were clear as day. Why she couldn’t be here, why she did it all.
There would always be anger within me at what we lost. I liked to think her opinion would change. Despite the life we led, love surrounded me more than I’d ever known. Good people who protected me and lifted me at my lowest.
After all, that’s all she wanted: for me to live how I wanted to, the way I deserved to.
With the secrets spilled, I no longer carried the guilt. I lost the need to hide.
I was who I was, largely thanks to her.
Yet, it hit me heavily that the wrong hadn’t been corrected in her case.
Another mission to find out who was after us eleven years ago and make them meet the same fate.
Until then, I’ll keep her in my memory. Their legacy continues in me.
The aftermath of today’s mission still lingered in the tightness of my muscles. I could vividly remember the warm blood dripping down my face, despite the liquid being long gone down the drain.
I wasn’t the one to deliver, to finish what I started in the first place, as I intended when I set down this path. The thought was hard to shake.
Inside, the rest of the party continued without me. Observing them from a distance, I caught a rare glimpse of Enzo. It was about time the real him came out to play. After all, this is what it was all about: being a part of a group. Being loved for who you were, not who you were meant to be.
Surnames, positions, genders, nationalities. None of those made us a family.
Dancing with the Galkins in a drunken haze, he showed off his signature dance move to Luka. In the quiet of the night, standing in the crisp January air, I burst out laughing.