Page 37

Turning to Alisa, I found her poker face in place. Even if I wanted to pry, her thoughts were well hidden behind it.
A genuine friendship was building. Or so I thought. Maybe I was naïve to believe something real could come from this way of life. Oblivious to the reality of the day, I might be on a path of self-destruction, letting all these people play a role in my life.
Could she be the one? Someone I could share my ups and downs with, without judgment? Or without an irrational feeling of betrayal?
Unaware of my internal battles, Alisa’s face lit up when our eyes locked.
“You go first,” I insisted, expanding on the conversation we started earlier.
“Okay.” She shifted closer and began. “My brothers were determined to make me attend a university. A degree might be useful, but I knew they were trying to get me out of the city,” she paused, giving me a quick glance. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m very grateful for all they’ve done, but it wasn’ttheir choice to make. I was born into this family just like them, so I should be allowed to decide.”
“Father didn’t see it that way,” she rolled her eyes. “While they were trained to be the perfect soldiers, I got etiquette lessons and party planning. What a useful skill in a dangerous situation.” Alisa let out a short, sarcastic laugh. “At least I’ll know which spoon to pair with gazpacho.”
“Your mother didn’t protest?” I knew the answer, but I asked anyway. My mother’s voice was the law, so the dynamics between our families were fundamentally different.
“She didn’t have a say. Our parents are old school. It wasn’t until my brothers took over the family that I had more freedom.”
I nodded, understanding. Though I wasn’t told what to do growing up, I’d been surrounded by people who tried to control us. Those who saw women as nothing more than property. We were told what to do, how to behave.
Some accepted orders without question, out of fear, or the belief that there was no other choice. Still, we all fought the patriarchy in our own ways.
“I can teach you some self-defense if you’d like,” I offered. I meant it, too. I hadn’t seen her as weak in any way. Just like my own training, I wanted to offer what I knew to anyone willing to learn.
“That would be great. But you’ll have to go easy on me. I possess zero athletic skills,” she agreed. “Anyway, university was an awakening. Suddenly, all these possibilities opened up. Everything that was forbidden before felt reachable. Andrei pulled a few strings so I could attend this prestigious institution in LA, filled with students from prominent families. Kids of politicians, governors, and even some mafia royalty. That’s where I met my friends. We stuck together for the five years, but when we graduated, they all went back to their families. We’re still in touch, but it’s not the same. You know how you’re so close to someone, but then time and distance make you realize it’s not the same?”
When I didn’t respond, she added, “Like the friendship worked for you in that moment, but it’s not who you are anymore?”
I shook my head once. “I don’t have many friends, so I can’t say for sure. Besides Enzo and Ilya, you’re my only female friend, and we only just met.”
Curiosity or practicality got the best of me. “They’re not coming?”
She lowered her gaze. “I didn’t invite them. They’ll be at the wedding.”
Her expression cleared, as if shaking off whatever emotion had surfaced, and she turned the conversation back to me. “What about your parents? What are they like?”
Somewhere in the depths of my layers, a long-forgotten feeling stirred awake upon hearing her question.
Alisa was the first one to ask about my family. I always assumed whoever worked with me had done their research and came up empty. That fact raised some red flags, but if anything, it added to my street cred. There wasn’t much to know about me outside of my professional life. My mother made sure of that. Bank accounts, the apartment, cars, everything I owned was in another name. Practically untraceable. The younger version of me stressed about the possibilities.
What if they find out?
I had rehearsed an answer, a cover story in case the question finally came up, yet no one ever bothered.
I shoved the memories aside. “I’ve been on my own for a while now.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“It’s life. We make do with what we have.”
“You are so badass. My brothers only told me a little about what you do. As if I wasn’t impressed already.”
Not sure how to take the compliment, I turned to her instead. “How are you so positive all the time?”
A silent smile lingered on her face. While that didn’t answer my question, it warmed me from the inside, knowing that despite the darkness and the ugly, some among us still saw the good this world offered.
Gaze focused on the horizon, Alisa followed up with an unexpected question. “Have you ever been in love?”
The smooth taste of the red wine turned bitter on my tongue.