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“Ryder, darling, did you hear what I said?” His mother was still speaking over the rush of noise filling his ears. “Are you sure you’re all right? You sound terribly out of breath.”
Her words penetrated his oxygen deprived brain. “Sorry Mum, I’ve got to go.”
He hung up and tried to force his lungs to expand and accept more air. Once again, people stared as he stood on the pavement bordering High Street, trying not to hyperventilate himself into unconsciousness.
The world around him was a blur. He placed one foot forward, then the other. Down High Street, onto Turl, past Exeter College, past Balliol and St. John’s, his path taking him through the heart of Oxford. As he passed the dark tan three-story building on his left, its turquoise-blue painted door caught his eye.
A banner hung from the wrought-iron balustrade on the second-story balcony.
Army. Be the Best. Train Anywhere. Go Anywhere.
The laugh that escaped his throat was bitter.
Be the best.
Something he’d never been. Not in his family’s eyes. Not in Nathalie’s eyes either, apparently. Too shy, lacking ambition, not interested in forging the social connections his parents expected of him.
An utter disappointment.
Train anywhere.
If only he could train in something that actually interested him. Anything but the life yawning in front of him, shallow and meaningless. There had to be more.
He stared at the banner.
Go anywhere.
An offering. A way out.
An audacious thought took hold.
Perspiration dotted Ryder’s forehead. He read the words again.
Go anywhere.
Maybe he would.
Chapter One
Eightyearslater
“I brought you flowers, Dad. Thought I’d liven up the place.”
Nathalie Williams placed the rust-colored chrysanthemums in the plastic cone next to her father’s headstone at Arlington National Cemetery. Around her, endless formations of white marble stood at attention on a blanket of neatly trimmed green.
She settled onto the grass and ran the pads of her fingers over the etchings.Benjamin Williams, LTCOL, USAF.
“Mom’s talked about maybe moving to Charleston. Can you believe it? She wants to paint the Lowcountry again.” Her gaze drifted to the headstone to her right and the flowers she’d placed at her brother’s grave. “I never thought she’d leave you and Reese.”
Or me.
So much loss. It swept over her like a riptide and threatened to pull her back out to the sea of grief she thought she’d finally conquered.
Heaviness settled in her chest. Since her dad’s massive heart attack six months ago, his dream had become her responsibility.
In a way, it always had been.
And despite all her efforts, he hadn’t lived long enough to see it come to fruition.