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The other two and I looked between us.

“It’s not safe,” John said, moving closer with his palms raised like he was walking toward a cornered animal. “You need to get out of here, Birdie. Do this… do this for me. For us.”

“Or how about I do something for, I don’t know, me?”

Pride burned in my chest at the way she put him in his place, solidifying what little doubts I had about her being the right woman for me. Someone just as damaged, just as determined to get through this life in one piece.

Mine.

She was so fucking mine.

If the other two weren’t in the room, I’d pin her against the wall and prove it to her over and over again. Images of her long strawberry-blonde hair covering her naked shoulders, of her open mouth taking in pants of air as I pounded into her, had my dick at attention. Again.

“What do you want to do?” I asked as I shifted my weight between my feet, trying to ease the pressure of my fully hard dick.

“I’m staying right where I am.” John opened his mouth, but she shot him down with a raised hand. “I won’t instigate him, and I’ll be extra cautious. I’m not saying use me as bait, but I am saying I’m not running. I’ve been running for far too long.”

“I could order you to leave,” John said, somewhat out of breath. He was panicking and grasping at fucking straws, anything to get her to leave.

“Actually,” Peters chimed in with a smirk, “she’s suspended, so you can’t. It would be a huge help to our investigation, and I appreciate you offering to stay if that’s what you want.”

Alta nodded and looked to me. “I’m staying.”

“You’re not to work on the case,” John said. “What the fuck are you doing here anyway?”

“Hanging out with me. It is something people do when they’re a couple.” I lifted my hand to Alta, who didn’t hesitate a second. John’s eyes burned fire hot when she tucked herself beneath my arm and wrapped hers around my waist.

“Right. Guess I wasn’t—”

“Watch your next words,” Peters said tensely. “I stopped him from snapping your neck earlier. I doubt he’d listen to me a second time.”

John pressed his lips together so tight that all the color drained from them. “We can take shifts watching Alta,” he said. “Rotate days or something.”

Alta’s arm tightened around my waist. Her pleading hazel eyes met mine.

“Peters and I will figure it out. You’ve got enough on your plate.”

“Fine.” Turning on the heels of his boots, John marched to the door and flung it open. Before it shut, he turned and glared at Alta. “Hope you know what you’re doing. Your life depends on it.”

The moment the door clicked closed, Alta hurried over and locked it, once, twice, and a third time.

“Well that was awkward,” she said with a smile as she leaned back against the door. “Thanks for having my back with my decision.”

Peters gave a stiff nod. “I do agree with one thing that ignorant dipshit said. You need protection.”

“I thought….” She looked to me. “Can’t you do it?”

Calluses scraped down my cheeks, and the scruff of my growing beard abraded my palm. “I need a cigarette.”

Being outside eased the increasing constriction in my chest. Of course, I would love to stay with her, to protect her. And I would, during the day. But at night, that was the issue. I couldn’t trust myself at night. In my sleep, my nightmares were a reality, and any little thing could set me off. I wouldn’t endanger her life even more by staying with her.

The door creaked open, the scent of lavender wafting forward.

“It’s not you,” I said, not turning.

“I’ve said that a lot over the years,” she joked. Shoulder against my arm, she leaned her head onto my bicep and sighed. “Chandler filled me in. You don’t have to say anything. But the thing is… I trust you.”

“You shouldn’t. I have zero control over what I do or how I react while I’m asleep.” Holding a deep inhale of smoke in my lungs, I avoided saying more than needed.