Page 86

Caitlyn was first. It gave her almost no time to come up with a pageant-worthy answer.

So, she did what she did best – worked off the cuff.

“My wife is obviously one of the most important people in my world,” she said, following the time-honored tradition of focusing on the host in front of her. If Caitlyn looked into the cameras, the lights, or the audience, she risked forgetting where she was or what she said. Somewhere in the distance, she knew Izzy compelled her to keep up the appearance of conversing with an old friend. She hadn’t met the host before, but by God, she’d play it up.

She just couldn’t lose her train of thought.

“To be honest, it’s rather hard to explain exactly what happened,” Caitlyn continued. “Like many women, I wasn’t searching for love when I happened to meet the woman who later became my wife and business partner. I wasn’t even ‘missing’ that emotion from my life. Yet after knowing her for one night, I knew that I was never going to meet someone like that again. You can’t let somebody like that disappear into the ether, you know? And when I realized that she made me feel something even more powerful than love, I had to marry her.”

“And what did you feel?”

The mic was back in Caitlyn’s face. “A sense of purpose. Living for someone else instead of just myself. Becoming a team, creating something together,experiencingthings together. We come from completely different worlds, both literally and figuratively. I was a middle class cheerleader from Des Moines and she was a trilingual heiress from Hong Kong. That’s how you know it’s fate. How else do two women like that come together? The only thing we had in common, aside from being women, was our attraction to one anfother. And…” She knew she was running out of time, but had one more thought to get in. “She and I have so much love to give to the world. We’ve never had children, but it hasn’t stopped us from figuring out how to share our love with others.” She thought of Rebecca, the woman she agreed tonot name but couldn’t stop thinking about while up there, asked to explain why she was so easilyin lovewith women like them. This wasn’t her soapbox for talking about polyamory, ethical nonmonogamy, being in a throuple,whateverthey called it that day. This was Caitlyn’s moment to tell the world what made her fall in love. What madehera Missus.

“It sounds like you do have a life full of love,” the host said.

Caitlyn lightly sniffed. “I am incredibly grateful and realize what a privilege it is to say that I am truly happily married.” Okay, maybe she would soapbox alittle.“Especially since when I was a girl, my long-held dream of getting married to one of my girlfriends didn’t seem possible. Now I get to liveallof my dreams with the people I love.”

She had to leave it at that. Were there other things she should have said instead? Carefully crafted answers handed to her by Izzy and the hundreds, thousands of contestants to come before her and answer similar questions?Yes.But Caitlyn wasn’t going to win. She didn’t come here to win. She came here to stand on the stage one last time, to be who she was under the spotlight, and to pay homage to the little girl who used to watch Miss USA on TV while dreaming of being as pretty, as talented, and as popular as the fair women of the ‘90s who had the courage to put themselves throughthe circuit.

Caitlyn didn’t need the perfect answer. Mrs. Iowa was here to represent all of the imperfect married women who were insecure, stressed out, and wishing forthat one thingin their marriage to change, whatever it was. Caitlyn was grateful that the only change she needed was a bigger place to live. Something she would take seriously once she was off this damn stage.

The other contestants all gave perfect answers from different angles. Tandy from Ohio sounded like she had memorized three other Mrs. America’s answers to the same question and created an amalgamation of them in human form. Mrs. Alaska focusedon what marriage traditionally meant among her ancestors and how that applied to how she worked with her husband today. Mrs. New York wove an artistic tale about the colorful patterns of the world and how her husband was the perfect stitch she shared a quilt square with.

Diane from Kansas stumbled over her words before having to take a break to cry. In the end, she recited John Mellencamp lyrics.

Caitlyn could only laugh.

The currently reigning Mrs. United States of America stood with a crown in her hands. She shared a brief look with Caitlyn before pretending she was detached from the announcement.

This was it. The deafening silence on stage was about to be shattered.

“Our second runner-up,” the host said with a mandatory pause. “The woman who will win $5,000 for her charity of choice…” Caitlyn breathed deeply, knowing that this very well could be her, and she must be prepared to step forward with grace. “Mrs. Alaska!”

Caitlyn’s applause was a mix of gratitude toward the second runner-up and relief that she didn’t have to move. While Alaska visibly appeared grateful to have this over with, the other contestants all knew that they were either at the top… or the bottom of the finalists.

“Yes, Mrs. Alaska has earned $5,000 for Count the Stars Foundation out of Sitka, Alaska, an organization that seeks to preserve both the local language and oral traditions of the Tlingit Tribe of Alaska. Congratulations!”

Caitlyn sighed once the camera was off her. Then it was back to smiling.

“Our first runner-up…” The dramatic music was renewed, Caitlyn wondering why she suddenly cared so much about getting this far in one last pageant she was never meant to be in to begin with. “The contestant who will earn $10,000 for her charity of choice, as well as be the one who must step up to take the winner’s place should she not be able to fulfill her duties as queen…” He had to take another breath after saying all of that. “Mrs. Ohio!”

Tandy shouted in delight as the light suddenly panned to her and she approached the front of the stage, tears streaming down her eyes and kisses blowing to the crowd.

“Yes, Mrs. Ohio has won $10,000 for The Ohio Institute of Math & Sciences, a foundation that seeks to fill the economic gaps for children growing up in low-income households throughout Ohio!”

A bouquet of colorful flowers landed in Tandy’s arms. She could no longer blow kisses.

“Now… the moment we’ve all been waiting for…” Caitlyn was suddenly aware of Diane beside her, practically clinging to her while biting her matte lipstick and looking like Dorothy attempting to go home in her ruby slippers. Caitlyn let her new compatriot on the pageant front do whatever she wanted. It was better than dealing with Mrs. New York, who stood five feet away from them as if both Caitlyn and Diane had BO. “Your new Mrs. United States of America… the woman who best represents the modern American wife…”

Caitlyn closed her eyes.What if? What if I win?

No, no, I won’t win. I’m not supposed to win.

But what if?

“Mrs. Kansas!”

Diane was so bombastic in her explosive reaction that she backhanded Caitlyn in the face and sent her straight to the floor. Apparently, her kitten heels couldn’t stand up to the challenge.