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“Mrs.Hawaiiiii!”

Caitlyn would not be allowed to stop clapping until this was over.Gee, who saw Hawaii coming?Wasn’t it illegal to not let Hawaii be a top ten finalist in every one of these things?

“Mrs.Kansaaaaas!”

A shriek of surprise startled Caitlyn as her benchmate almost teetered into the row before them. She snatched the back of Kansas’s dress, holding on to her shoulder until the petite woman’s flailing allowed her to regain her balance. The host quipped about Caitlyn’s quick reflexes while two stagehands dressed in black came to assist the buoyant woman safely back to the stage.

“Mrs.Ohiooooo!”

Two rows down, Tandy pumped her fists into the air and graciously stepped off the bleachers.She’s good. She has to be, if she’s been doing so many.Caitlyn’s autopilot clapping was making her arms go numb.

“Mrs.Iowaaaa!”

The spotlight shined directly on Caitlyn. “Huh?” To her left, Mrs. Indiana clapped right in her face while muttering the word,“Go!”

The stagehands were there to help Caitlyn down. She almost forgot where she was.

You did it.She swore that was Izzy’s voice in her head. Maybe her mother’s. A small part of her hoped it was Jane’s, or Rebecca’s. But no. It sounded much more familiar. More intimate.

It was her own voice.

You did it. You made it. I knew you could do it.

That month in Iowa had not been a waste. She hadn’t abandoned her family for her own ego. Izzy had been right. Her own mother wasn’t only saying nice things about her daughter. Caitlyn had done it. She had made it past the hardest part, her experience carrying her far but her currentselfcarrying her farther.

It wasn’t until she was at the front of the stage, next to Mrs. Kansas once more, that she realized she was crying. If nothing else, she still hadit.That ephemeral quality, theje ne sais quoi,the something special that separated her from other women. A group of judges had read her essays, looked at her life story, listened to her interviews, and even graded herappearanceand thought she had strong potential to represent the married women of America.

For one minute, every shred of self-doubt in her head disappeared. It was a beautiful minute while it lasted.

Chapter 20

Jane

Jane was the type of woman who couldn’t easily define words like “love.” But when she heard Caitlyn’s state called on national television, she not only squeezed Rebecca’s hand, but she broke their contact to emphatically clap for the woman she had married – twice.

To be fair, Rebecca was clapping harder. Nobody had the chance to hold hands!

“Oh, my God.” Rebecca covered her mouth as the auditorium quieted during the next commercial break. The contestants who didn’t make the top ten were ushered off the bleachers and into the backstage. Caitlyn and the other semifinalists were arranged for the interview portion of the finals. “She fucking did it.”

“That’s our girl,” Jane said.

She wasn’t sure what else she had to say. OfcourseCaitlyn did it. Ofcourseshe showed everyone in America that she was one of the most beautiful, most interesting married women in theirfair nation.When I think of American women, don’t I think of Caitlyn?Jane had known many before meeting her future wife. Hell, she had slept with her fair share in those years of traveling between university and settling down to work.

But Caitlyn? She had been more than a beautiful blond with luscious curves that Jane saw in America more than anywhere else. She had been vivacious. Witty. Charming enough to single herself out in athreesome.

And I married her.Who was the lucky one?

Rebecca grabbed Jane’s hand. “What if she wins?” she asked. “What happens if Caitlyn has to spend the next year being a badass in nursing homes and orphanages?”

“Wait, are orphanages athingin this country?” Jane asked.

Rebecca ignored that, although it now nagged Jane enough she looked it up on her phone while her girlfriend talked. “We may only see her for half the month. Do you think they’d let me travel with her, or is only her legal spouse allowed to go? Jane, could you divorce Cait so I can marry her? I wanna be the First Lady of pageantry.”

“Sounds expensive, love.” Jane confirmed that orphanages had been exchanged for theillustriousfoster care system and put her phone away. “Divorce, especially from Cait, is expensive. Ask me how I know.”

“Would’ve been cheaper from me.”

“That’s the thing about Cait, you know. She steps up when people need her.”