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“I’ve never won a national competition,” Caitlyn mused while the makeup artist headed her way. “I made the top ten in Miss USA. Outside of state titles, that’s my biggest claim to fame.”

“Top ten in Miss USA is fantastic, Cait. So many Midwest girls would kill their best friend to get into Miss USA at all.”

“All I had to do was win that particular Miss Iowa pageant. There wasn’t a lot of competition that year.” She bounced her finger against her cheek. “The contender we thought would win had to drop out because her food poisoning turned out to be morning sickness”

“I remember you taking that on. I wasn’t your coach that year, but I was watching.”

The makeup artist placed her carrying case on the vanity and pulled two plastic gloves over her hands. While Caitlyn sat up and breathed in deeply through her nose, she said, “Everyone was watching. That was a few months before I met Jane.”

“You retired at your peak, some might say.” Izzy bent down and whispered into Caitlyn’s ear, “Because you fell in love. Remember that.”

Caitlyn had an idea her coach meant beyond the good feelings, but with Izzy? There was always an ulterior meaning. Caitlyn merely had to mine through the muck to find it.

She was as beat as a rug in the sun by the time she made it back to her room, Izzy hot on her heels to go over the massivefilming schedule the next day. Rebecca was the only other one in the suite, attempting to offer her girlfriend some low-sodium takeout to refuel her tired body, but Caitlyn didn’t have the energy to eat while her mind was stuffed with information.

“We’ve gotta be at the studio by eight, so I want your ass in bed within an hour. I’ll be here at 7:30 to walk you over.”

Sighing, Caitlyn agreed to Izzy’s demands, knowing that it was the only way to get the coach out of her suite so she could decompress. It was already ten.I have to be up at five-thirty to do all of my own prep before we leave.At least there would be a breakfast buffet at the studio.

“Here’s the serum for any dark circles you might get tonight.” Izzy placed a tiny bottle on the table. “Oh, and don’t forget your Korean charcoal mask tonight. Read those instructions carefully! We don’t want a repeat of two weeks ago.”

“I fell asleep while putting it on. That’s what happened.”

Izzy snapped her fingers at Rebecca, who looked at her as if she were in the wrong room. “Make sure she doesn’t fall asleep while wearing her charcoal mask. I don’t think there’s a makeup artist in the world who can fix what that can do to her skin.”

When she finally left, Caitlyn splatted against the table, nose flat and lips vibrating to create a bombastically crude sound. Rebecca rubbed her upper back and offered some chamomile tea from the coffee station in the kitchenette.

“My favorite.” Caitlyn lifted her head and took the cup. “Coffee-infused chamomile.”

“It’s what we’ve got here.”

“Do me a big favor, would you?” Caitlyn held the hot cup in her hand as she flopped backward in her seat, eyes heavy and hair disentangling from its bun. “Sleep with me tonight. I could use an all-night hug.”

Rebecca offered an understanding look. “Of course. If that’s what you need.”

“Thaaaank you!” Caitlyn called after Rebecca as she went to her room. “I know you’ve been enjoying having your own bed again, so I appreciate it!”

The gesture reminded Caitlyn that if she hadn’t gone along with this silly pageant endeavor, they probably would have a new home to live in by now. One where Rebecca had her own bed and bathroom again.

I’m sorry, Becca.She had been so patient through this whole ordeal.Always the most selfless one out of us all.Nobody expected Jane or Caitlyn to give up their rooms when Cecelia moved in. Nor would either of them have the tolerance to wait this long until a new four bedroom abode was procured. Caitlyn had been in charge of that, after all. She had been so busy that past week she hadn’t even answered any of Chara Harke’s messages about new listings.

So much awaited Caitlyn once she was back in New England.Work. Investments. Domestic matters. A minor in my midst.She had missed most of Jane’s drama with Cecelia, something Caitlyn felt bad about as well.She had to deal with it on her own… while I fucked off to Iowa to pursue… what, exactly?

The problem with self-flagellation, as Caitlyn often found that past month, was that everything led back to that kernel of truth from a few months ago.

“Of course, it’s natural to gain some weight as you get older, but we must be careful to not gain too much, Ms. Adams.”

She was never going back to that doctor again.

The hot lights of the live stage hit Caitlyn as she peered from behind the curtain. She was joined by twenty other contestants, each dressed in their evening gowns and awaiting the call toline up. Soon, they would be executing the simple choreography and stage blocking they had practiced all morning and early afternoon.

It was almost eight. In ten minutes, they would be on live TV. In three hours, there would be a new Mrs. United States of America.

Caitlyn knew she wouldn’t win. She had known that from the moment she accepted Izzy’s challenge to throw her hat into the ring,like old times.But was it too much to ask to make it to the top ten and fight and prove her worth to at leastbethere?

She glanced at the women soon lining up on their designated spots, each taped on the floor. This pageant, like some others, introduced the contestants in alphabetical order, meaning Mrs. Alabama was first in line with her canary yellow mermaid dress and bright brown hair complementing her dark skin. Caitlyn instinctively took her place between Indiana and Kansas, the latter of which wore a giant hoop skirt that brushed against the back of Caitlyn’s buttocks.

“Sorry,” the young, short woman with an interesting face shape said. “Really, really sorry. I’m trying to control this thing, I promise.”