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My husband had never asked me to stay.

Not even once.

The sky seemed to pick up on my sour mood. The sun hid itself away behind a wall of clouds, thick as Nali’s fur, but much darker. Greyer. In the distance, thunder boomed.

Guess that bad weather Tasha mentioned is moving in quicker than they thought…

By the time Oaken was outside, setting up his tent for the night, the wind had begun to pick up, making the task impossible. I watched him struggle to secure the leather flaps from just inside theLavariya. When fat raindrops began to fall on him, I shouted over the rising wind, “Don’t sleep out there tonight, Oaken!”

He tossed down the leather and hurried over to me. By the time he reached the open door of theLavariya, he was soaked. Water beaded between his pectoral and abdominal muscles. His hair glistened, his hat having long ago been abandoned in the windy conditions. He mopped a big hand down his face, swiping water away, and when his eyes were revealed to me again, they were bright white.

Invite him in.

I didn’t.

You’re a coward.

Icouldn’t.

I couldn’t risk falling any further into this. Into him.

His eyes were on my mouth. The air between us felt as electrically charged as the storm-soaked sky. My body begged me to touch him, to move closer, to dosomething.

I did something, alright.

I pushed him away.

“You should sleep in your bedroom tonight,” I said. “This storm… seems like a bad one.”

“Oh. Of course.” There was a grim resignation in his voice that slayed me. As if he’d been expecting this. Waiting for this. And then, a little dash of sudden hope that broke my fucking heart. “Will you come too?”

“I can’t.”

His arms tensed. Like he’d only just stopped them from reaching for me.

“You can’t?”

“I mean… I should stay here. Make sure the ship is OK. Batten down the hatches, so to speak.”

“Of course,” he said again. “I understand.”

So polite. So understanding.

It made me want to scream. It made me want to beg him to be selfish, to be shitty, to be exactly who he wasn’t.

Ask me to stay!I begged him silently, howling inside my own head.Tell me that I have to stay! Don’t let me fucking go!

Don’t let me push you away!

“Goodnight, Jaya.”

He lingered there with me for the tiniest moment. Barely half a heartbeat while the rain poured down.

And then he was gone.

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JAYA