Page 33
“I am sorry for your loss.”
She moved her head up and down in a human gesture of acknowledgement.
“Thanks. It worked out OK in the end, though. My Aunty Anjali swooped in and saved me.”
She laced her fingers together in her lap.
“I was so young when my parents died. And I know I was really sad at the time. But what I remember feeling most was fear. Because they had been my anchors, you know? But what good is an anchor if it can just be severed like that? And leave you totally unmoored? In the blink of an eye, it was like everything I ever knew got thrown over the edge of a fucking cliff. I didn’t know where I’d go, who I’d live with, if I’d even survive the foster care system.”
Her smile returned.
“But then there was Aunty Anjali, coming to get me in her very own ship. Which was just so amazingly cool, because up until then, I didn’t know anyone who had their own ship. She was like… Like a superhero or something. She could go anywhere, do anything. Never trapped, never lost. At home wherever she went. No anchors. No fear.”
Though we may have lost our mothers around the same time in our lives, clearly our experiences after this event differed wildly. Like Jaya, I had been sent to live with a family member – my uncle, Garrek’s father. Unlike Jaya, I did not find that period of my life to be one of liberation. My uncle did not, as Jaya had said, “swoop in to save me.” Instead, he frightened me, jeered at me, beat his own son in front of me. When he tried to beat me, too, he earned his own death at Garrek’s hands, and thus set our course for this place.
But perhaps, in a way, he had liberated me after all. Because I’d always felt freer here in this penal colony than I had back on Zabria.
And this had, in turn, put me in the right place, at the right time, to meet Jaya.
It was poignant, and more than a little painful, to think about how the agonies of our lives, the disasters that have the power to throw everything into chaos, could also, one day, put us on the path of something good.
Jaya was something good.
“I understand now,” I said softly, “why you are so attached to your ship.”
“Yeah. I inherited theLavariyaafter Aunty Anjali died. It’s been my home for more than twenty years.”
“Lavariya… This word does not translate.”
“It’s her name. The ship’s name,” she clarified. “It’s the name of an Old-Earth dish from Sri Lanka. A type of sweet coconut dumpling. It’s really good with tea. It was my Aunty Anjali’s favourite food. Plus, the ship is kind of shaped like one.”
“It is interesting that you name your ships this way. And assign them genders.”
“Zabrians don’t do that?” She hopped down off the table. “Must be a human thing. We can be weirdly sentimental like that.”
Yet another facet of human culture that I found charming. It was entirely adorable that Jaya loved a ship named after something as sweet as a dumpling.
I was very glad I could play some small part in keeping that ship in her life.
Even if that very ship would be the thing to carry her away from me one day.
15
JAYA
All this talk about theLavariyamade me extra anxious to get back to her. It also had another secondary effect of making me feel irrationally close to Oaken.
I wasn’t supposed to actually open up to my husband.
The easiest way to put a stop to that would be to create some space between us.
“I should probably go now,” I said. “Before I do, do you want me to try to use the knitter on you? It’s best used to stop active bleeding, and you obviously aren’t bleeding now. But it still might do some good.”
“Do not trouble yourself,” Oaken said with a flick of his tail. “Just wait here for a moment, please.”
He disappeared into the house’s bedroom. When he emerged, he had a large leather pack slung over his shoulder.
“What’s that?” I asked, jutting my chin in the bag’s direction.
She moved her head up and down in a human gesture of acknowledgement.
“Thanks. It worked out OK in the end, though. My Aunty Anjali swooped in and saved me.”
She laced her fingers together in her lap.
“I was so young when my parents died. And I know I was really sad at the time. But what I remember feeling most was fear. Because they had been my anchors, you know? But what good is an anchor if it can just be severed like that? And leave you totally unmoored? In the blink of an eye, it was like everything I ever knew got thrown over the edge of a fucking cliff. I didn’t know where I’d go, who I’d live with, if I’d even survive the foster care system.”
Her smile returned.
“But then there was Aunty Anjali, coming to get me in her very own ship. Which was just so amazingly cool, because up until then, I didn’t know anyone who had their own ship. She was like… Like a superhero or something. She could go anywhere, do anything. Never trapped, never lost. At home wherever she went. No anchors. No fear.”
Though we may have lost our mothers around the same time in our lives, clearly our experiences after this event differed wildly. Like Jaya, I had been sent to live with a family member – my uncle, Garrek’s father. Unlike Jaya, I did not find that period of my life to be one of liberation. My uncle did not, as Jaya had said, “swoop in to save me.” Instead, he frightened me, jeered at me, beat his own son in front of me. When he tried to beat me, too, he earned his own death at Garrek’s hands, and thus set our course for this place.
But perhaps, in a way, he had liberated me after all. Because I’d always felt freer here in this penal colony than I had back on Zabria.
And this had, in turn, put me in the right place, at the right time, to meet Jaya.
It was poignant, and more than a little painful, to think about how the agonies of our lives, the disasters that have the power to throw everything into chaos, could also, one day, put us on the path of something good.
Jaya was something good.
“I understand now,” I said softly, “why you are so attached to your ship.”
“Yeah. I inherited theLavariyaafter Aunty Anjali died. It’s been my home for more than twenty years.”
“Lavariya… This word does not translate.”
“It’s her name. The ship’s name,” she clarified. “It’s the name of an Old-Earth dish from Sri Lanka. A type of sweet coconut dumpling. It’s really good with tea. It was my Aunty Anjali’s favourite food. Plus, the ship is kind of shaped like one.”
“It is interesting that you name your ships this way. And assign them genders.”
“Zabrians don’t do that?” She hopped down off the table. “Must be a human thing. We can be weirdly sentimental like that.”
Yet another facet of human culture that I found charming. It was entirely adorable that Jaya loved a ship named after something as sweet as a dumpling.
I was very glad I could play some small part in keeping that ship in her life.
Even if that very ship would be the thing to carry her away from me one day.
15
JAYA
All this talk about theLavariyamade me extra anxious to get back to her. It also had another secondary effect of making me feel irrationally close to Oaken.
I wasn’t supposed to actually open up to my husband.
The easiest way to put a stop to that would be to create some space between us.
“I should probably go now,” I said. “Before I do, do you want me to try to use the knitter on you? It’s best used to stop active bleeding, and you obviously aren’t bleeding now. But it still might do some good.”
“Do not trouble yourself,” Oaken said with a flick of his tail. “Just wait here for a moment, please.”
He disappeared into the house’s bedroom. When he emerged, he had a large leather pack slung over his shoulder.
“What’s that?” I asked, jutting my chin in the bag’s direction.
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75