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Does it? I feel like Drew and I have been an unspoken matter of fact for so long, but we’ve never come out with our feelings. We’ve only ever felt them.

He laughs more. “If Andrea Harris is not your girl, you need to do a little reflecting on what just happened right here. What’s been happening a long time.”

“You know?”

“Dude. Everybody knows.”

I stand out of the stool, and pause a moment, putting my hand on Steve’s shoulder. “Thanks, D. I have an errand to run.”

“Any time, man. Any time.”

Chapter 21

Drew

“When we hold onto grudges, it’s the same as holding onto sin.” My eyes drift around the small sanctuary as Pastor Hibbert talks. Since he took over after Pastor Stemple retired, the sermons have become less specific and more general.

I wonder if it’ll change once he gets to know us better.

Sometime in the night, Gray returned the Jag. I was disappointed he left it in the driveway with no note or anything. He didn’t even text or try to come inside. As I think back to our text exchange, I didn’t specifically ask him to come inside. It was more playful teasing. Maybe he didn’t realize I was serious… All I want now is him.

In front of me, Dagwood has his head bowed, and from this angle, I’m pretty sure he’s sleeping. It’s confirmed when a soft snore escapes his nose and Dotty elbows him hard.

He jumps and sits up. I pull my lips between my teeth and look away, across the aisle to where Ruby sits with her mother. She raises one eyebrow slowly, and I bite the inside of my cheek, looking away again. I’m so happy after being with Gray, I’m ready to laugh at everything.

I should probably look at our new pastor and see what he’s talking about. “Holding onto wrongs done to you is like cancer. It eats you from the inside out.”

I think about his words. They’re actually good. Roy Hibbert is about fifteen years younger than Paul Stemple. His wife is on the front row, looking at him as if he’s Jesus Christ Superstar. Two young kids sit beside her, and I think he might be a nice addition to our small town.

He might want to start a series on gossiping and being judgmental wanks.

“It’s an eternal truth: Forgiveness benefits the forgiver more than the one being forgiven.” He holds out his hands. “Let us bow and pray God helps us with this difficult act. Learning to forgive.”

I suppose I should learn to forgive the judgy church ladies. I might need help with that one, Lord. It’s hard to forgive them after the way they treated Gray and his uncle.

Friday night floats into my brain again, and I shift in my seat. I might have to add avoiding impure thoughts in church to the list of things God has to help me do.

A tickle is in my stomach. It makes me want to squirm, but the prayer is over. The organ launches into our usual exit music, and everyone stands.

Ruby is across the aisle to me at once. “Why are you sitting by yourself?”

“I got here late, and I didn’t want to make a big deal.” I wave to the pew behind me. “I don’t really mind. I’m used to it.”

Dad stopped attending church regularly after Mamma died, and my brother’s attendance was always spotty, depending on how much he’d had to drink the night before. I don’t blame Gray for not wanting to come. If these good Christian people acted a little more Christ-like, maybe I could convince him, but for now, I have one issue on my mind, and it’s definitely not religious. Although, didn’t God create the woman for the man?

She makes a sad face, but I wave it away. “Stop.”

Her arm goes through mine. “You know you can always sit with us. We’ll make room.” She waits with me as we work our way around a cluster of old people waiting to shake the pastor’s hand. “Speaking of room, Mom said for you to come over for lunch. She made extra dumplings.”

My eyes move to the door, and I think about my dad. “I guess it’ll be okay. Dad’s probably still in bed anyway.”

We finally make it onto the bright lawn, and she exhales heavily. “I’m sorry about your dad.”

“He had a little breakthrough actually.” I nod at Mrs. Stern, walking across the path to the fellowship hall.

I’m sure those Sunday school ladies have some luncheon or other planned. They’re always trying to get me to join their volunteer ranks. No, thank you.

“I don’t believe it.” Ruby doesn’t wave at Ralph’s mother.