Page 18

They don’t trust us, and we don’t trust them.

We spent the day yesterday sweeping the route for IEDs, and we’re ready to go. My CO radioed for me to come down and join the others.

Still, I linger a moment longer, re-reading the words on the printed sheet of paper, looking at the small photograph one more time. In it, Drew is leaning forward, and her smile is so big, it makes me smile.

Her wavy blonde hair falls over one shoulder, and her arms are wrapped around her waist. She’d been looking at me when I took it, and the energy coming from her eyes tightens my chest. I turn it over, and the words she wrote hit me even harder.

The letter is worn from being opened and closed so many times. When we’re in country, it’s the only way I can ease my addiction to her messages. On these missions, we’re completely cut off from civilization. No phones, no email, nothing.

These mementos keep her with me.

At night I close my eyes, and I can feel your lips against mine. I feel the warmth of your hands on the sides of my face. I pretend I’m in your arms. They flex when you hold me, your chest is hard, and your heart beats so strong when I press my cheek against it…

In these words, I’m with her, too. I feel her in my arms, soft and warm, smelling like flowers and the ocean and everything good.

As many times as I said we should stop, we’ve maintained contact the entire time I’ve been here, and as much as I try to downplay it, I count the seconds until I’m with her again.

She ignored my instruction to date other guys, and it fucking makes me happy as hell she did, despite what everyone thinks.

“Report to the staging area in zero nine hundred,” Marten shouts into the small radio on my shoulder.

The wind pushes the paper in my hand, and I scan her words one more time before I tuck the photo inside. I can see her face, the way her nose curls, her pretty blue eyes blinking up at me. Her voice is pure and true.

“What the fuck are you doing? We’re supposed to be heading down.” Danny pushes into the small space, and I straighten, dropping the paper against my leg.

“Just trying to cool off.” It’s a lie. There’s no escaping the heat here.

Everything is brown-beige sand, hot, and dusty. The heat I don’t mind, but I never thought I’d miss trees so much in my life.

“You hiding out? It’s time to go.” Danny looks over his shoulder, and I see a red smudge on his collar.

“Is that blood?”

“What?” He jerks to look down as I reach, and just as fast he pulls away, pushing my hand aside.

“It’s lipstick.” My voice drops to a whisper. “Were you with Adara?”

His throat moves and he glances down. “What’s that in your hand?”

I pull back at his deflection. Somehow, Drew and I have managed to keep our relationship from her brother this whole time. Danny and I are friends, but I expect he’ll pull some over-protective, “my kid sister” bullshit.

“Quit changing the subject. Are you fucking that girl?”

“She’s twenty-two. She’s not a girl—”

“She’s his youngest daughter.” My mind flies through all we’ve learned about this place. “She could be stoned for not being a virgin.”

“She’s technically still a virgin, and trust me, she knows what she likes.” He leans back against the wall, giving me a smug grin. “When she comes with my dick in her ass, she makes a noise like—”

“I don’t want to hear it.” I give him a shove, and the letter falls.

He bends fast to scoop it up. “Now… what secrets are you hiding? I knew it’d been too long—”

“Give it back.”

“Oh, now I have to know.” He laughs, opening the sheet.

Her photograph falls to the dirt floor and everything stops.