Page 37

“Now who’s the one with the intense expression?”

I startled and looked over at Kyland and then started laughing.

“I’m breaking my own rule.” I breathed out another small laugh.

Kyland chuckled. “I’m really glad you’re here. In case you’re wondering. This day has been…incredible. You’re incredible. I want you to know that.”

“Why does it sound like you’re kicking me out?”

Kyland shook his head. “On the contrary. I’d really love it if you’d stay with me tonight.”

“I’d like that too,” I whispered. Kyland let out a breath and smiled as if my response was a relief.

There was a knock on his door, and we both looked at each other, confused. Kyland paused as if considering whether he’d answer or not. But then we heard the unmistakable sound of a banjo outside his door. I started laughing. “Oh God, the moonshine is flowing.”

“Oh shit,” Kyland said, laughing too. He walked to the door and I got up, pulling the quilt around me. I wasn’t properly dressed, but if I knew the group of hillbillies outside his door right now and their love of moonshine, they wouldn’t notice.

Kyland swung the door open and we stood there laughing and listening to a band of drunk hillbillies perform their own version of “Jingle Bells,” playing banjos and homemade instruments and singing in loud, cackling voices. They were awful and ridiculous. Mostly because they were rip-roaring drunk. I couldn’t stop smiling. They were mine. Ours. They were home.

Old Sally Mae, who had all of three teeth left in her mouth, took Kyland by the arm and executed a rowdy two-step with him, whipping him around and causing him to laugh out loudly. My heart clenched at the look of open happiness on his face. And for a moment, the world around dissolved until it was only him, laughing and linking arms with Sally, the expression of joy on his face increasing as he spun her, finally offering a gentlemanly bow at the end as she curtsied and flirted. I leaned on the doorframe for support.

They offered us a swig of moonshine from their jug and I took a couple burning sips of what tasted to me like battery acid and coughed as Kyland did the same, grimacing and wiping the back of his hand across his mouth. Then they danced off down the snowy road, their clanging music disappearing into the clear, cold night.

Kyland closed the door and reached his hand out to me and I gripped it, still holding the quilt around me with the other. He twirled me around once like he’d done to Sally Mae and I giggled and fell into his chest. He had the most beautiful body. It was muscled but lean, his shoulders broad and his waist narrow. It wouldn’t be mine forever, but I was going to enjoy it while I could.

“They’re pretty ridiculous,” Kyland said, offering me a crooked smile.

“Yeah,” I agreed, laughing. “But awesome.”

Kyland pulled me with him back to his bedroom, where we fell onto his bed, laughing. He kissed me and we both sobered as the kiss went deeper. I sighed and wrapped my arms around his neck, running my nails over his scalp.

He groaned and that groan sent tingles between my legs. Was this how sex was for everyone? How did couples who were really into each other ever leave their houses? If Kyland was mine—if he was promised to me, if we lived in this house together—I’d want to keep him here all day. I giggled against his mouth and he pulled away.

“What’s funny?”

“Nothing’s funny. I just like sex.”

“You haven’t had sex yet,” he said, running his nose along mine.

“You could remedy that,” I suggested. “My sister’s had me on the pill as long as she’s been on it. She gets packs of them at the free clinic. I take it regularly.” I felt unsure, shy, giving him that information, but if birth control was part of the reason he was hesitating, I wanted him to know he didn’t need to.

“Tenleigh,” he groaned.

“I want you, Kyland. I want you to be my first. I don’t care if you’ll leave afterward.”

“No. No, don’t say that. Don’t feel that way. I care. I can’t do that.” He shook his head for emphasis. He smoothed a piece of hair behind my ear. “Tenleigh, someday you’re going to meet a man who wants to give you a life, a man who wants to give you everything he has to offer. And I’m not going to take the thing that’s yours to give to him as a gift.”

I pushed at him, feeling unreasonably hurt and angry. “You really know how to ruin the moment, you know that?” I stood up, pulling the quilt with me. “What girl wants to hear about some other guy when the guy she wants right then is kissing her? I suppose next you’re going to tell me about the woman who you’ll deem worthy to give all of yourself to someday once you make it out of here? Do I have to hear about her too? I guess she’ll be sophisticated and worldly. Maybe a New York socialite? She’ll talk like a proper lady, not like a Kentucky hick? She’ll wear pearls and drink tea with her pinky—”