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Without realizing it, I watched them go, lost in thought that wasn’t centered around defending myself or pitching ideas to commit patricide.
I had done terrible, irreversible things to those women, and now they were growing two new humans in their wombs. I hated kids. They were sticky, stinky, obnoxious little gremlins. But they weren’t like that to most others.
And it sure as hell didn’t mean I would let anything take a baby away from its mother.
Even the thought of Walter planning anything against the Devils right now disgusted me to the marrow of my bones. If he didn’t care about his own daughter’s life, he wouldn’t care about anyone else’s.
At this point, I didn’t even know what Walter wanted from the Devil’s Luck anymore. What was the point of all this?
It didn’t matter. It just needed to end.
The other Devils stood to disperse. There was no conversation left in anyone. The couples just linked hands and went on their way. No one made eye contact with me.
Knox and I stayed sitting. Grant was last to stand, but before he could leave, Knox tossed his borrowed wallet and bike keys to him. “Thanks, man. You saved us.”
Grant caught them and just shrugged. I could tell he wanted to say something along the lines of, Yeah, but it didn’t save Gabriel, but he just followed the others.
Then it was just me and Knox.
I had been holding myself as poised as a puppet, but now, without an audience, I collapsed my head onto Knox’s shoulder. I was exhausted from the pretenses. So, so tired.
Knox’s arm wrapped around me and rubbed mine reassuringly. He was tired, too, but I knew he was annoyed with me. I had promised not to offer myself up as self-sacrificing bait, but I had broken that.
I wanted to apologize, but I had to think like a survivalist first. “Now what?” I asked.
“It’s too dangerous to go to my place,” he said. “The club keeps extra cards and cash in the basement. We’ll go grab some shit and take an Uber to another hotel.” There was a smirk in his voice when he added, “One with a honeymoon suite, perhaps.”
I snorted and rolled my eyes. “Don’t even think about it.”
“Why? You like luxury.”
“Yes, but wasn’t it you who said I’m supposed to live like a normal person now? New me isn’t supposed to?—”
Knox grabbed my chin and turned my head so he could kiss the words right out of my mouth. When he pulled away, I blinked and met his eyes. “New you isn’t supposed to do nothing,” he said fiercely. “You decide whatever you want, and do it. Or think it. Or wear it. Whatever. I don’t give a fuck as long as you do what makes you happy.”
My throat tightened. I didn’t even consider lying when I said, “I don’t know how to be happy.”
Knox didn’t hesitate. “I’ll help you, Caroline. And I know the first step.”
He made me stay in plain sight of Jameson and Carrie, who were chilling at the bar, while he went to get resources downstairs. I didn’t know where the others were, but as long as it wasn’t Jackson staring me down and plotting how to kill me on the spot, I was fine. Even though these two weren’t the best case scenario, either. I just stood near the front door and forced myself to make myself look as small and inconspicuous as I could.
When Knox returned, he pretended nothing was out of the ordinary and called cheerily, “See you bastards later! Don’t drink all the Daniels while we’re gone!”
“Fuck off,” Jameson said blandly.
Knox guided me out with an arm around my waist, his other hand now holding an iPhone five years out of date. “Still got juice,” he said when he saw my skeptical expression. “Right. Uber’s downloading now. Gotta stay in the Well’s Wi-Fi… Done. Right… Closest one… Five minutes away. Booked.”
He clicked the phone closed and kissed my temple. “Penny for your thoughts, spitfire?”
“Save it for the hotel.”
“Yes, ma’am. Can I stick my tongue down your throat to help you forget?”
“Please do.”
We kissed like no one was watching—even though we had a small audience as people came and went through the Well’s parking lot. I let Knox get handsy until the Uber arrived.
The driver was awkward but nice, an older guy with a scrappy beard. He chatted with Knox like old friends until he pulled up to one of the nicer hotels downtown, surrounded by nightlife, restaurants, and good shopping.