Page 63
Story: Kingpin
“You do now though,” Connie countered. “And that doesn’t change how you feel about him.”
I studied my tea, wishing I could find a concrete answer to my future in the depths of the golden brown liquid.
Connie was quiet for a moment. Then she reached across the table and clasped my hand.
“Did you ever think that this fantasy you’re chasing might have been part of Mom’s dream for you?”
I blinked, stunned.
“What? No. No, I…”
I trailed off. Maybe she had a point. My mother had constantly pressured me to be more lady-like, to soften my sharp tongue, to marry a man with wealth and social influence.
“Mom was always harder on you than she was on me,” Connie continued. “I got away with murder sometimes. For a while, I just assumed it was because you were older, so she put greater expectations on your shoulders.”
I smoothed my thumb along the rim of my mug. Connie really was sweeter than I could ever be, more feminine, more motherly. But I didn't hold that against her.
“It’s because you looked like Dad,” I said. “She missed even, though she wouldn't admit it."
“But you look like Mom,” Connie replied. “You have her nose, her eyes, her hair. I think she blamed herself for the lack of love in her marriage, and she took it out on you. She kept a wall around her heart, and she just couldn’t let it down. No matter how hard Dad tried to reach her.”
A lump formed in my throat.
“My theory is,” Connie added. “Neil loved you entirely, completely, and wholly as you are. And your heart responded to that. Youblossomedaround him, Hattie.”
I managed a wet laugh of disbelief, tears stinging my eyes.
“We fought all the time though. About everything.”
“Because he gave you room to do that. He was strong enough to take your heat and not get burned. Mom tried to clip your wings, to make you smaller, to crush you into someone you were not. But Neil gave you the sky so you could soar.” Connie smirked. “Honestly, I think that’s what he liked most—your fire.”
God, she was right. Neil never held me back, never told me that my dreams were wrong in any way. He let me go to pursue what I wanted—or what I thought I wanted—as long as it made me happy.
I swiped my hands over my eyes and released a shaky breath. The club still worried me. Losing Neil would destroy me. But I would use the most of the time we had together and count my lucky stars that he loved me as long as he did.
“If I do this,” I said. “If I get back together with Neil, there will be bikers traipsing through your house on a regular basis.”
Connie didn’t even flinch.
“Are you kidding? A lifetime supply of free babysitters? Where do I sign up?”
I laughed and squeezed her hand.
“If you develop a crush on Vlad, Nathan might get jealous."
She scoffed.
“He won’t have time to be jealous when I drag him to bed for a nap.”
“You’re taking this surprisingly well,” I admitted.
Connie lifted one shoulder in a nonchalant shrug.
“My sister deserves to live happily ever after with the man she loves. You certainly didn’t glow when you were dating that financial analyst.”
I winced and waved her off, embarrassed.
“Don’t remind me.”
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