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I thought this was supposed to be subtle.

“I am very good with babies,” Vlad said, holding his arms out to Connie.

She clutched Emma tighter and took a step back.

“No, thank you. That—that won’t be necessary. I’ll take your word for it.”

Connie shot me a bewildered look. I grimaced. I tried so hard to build a life like what Connie had. But I was still tied to the Blackjacks. Neil and his club had been such a big part of my life for so long, that I didn’t flinch around these men, tattooed, untamed, and rough.

“I will wait then,” Vlad said in that crisp, no-nonsense Russian accent. “Until I am needed.”

Before anyone could protest, he moved into the living room and lowered his bulk onto the couch. The cushions bowed under his weight, and the springs groaned. He looked like he was living in a dollhouse too small for him.

“Mama?” Wylie shuffled out with a sleepy squint, wearing his pajamas with the cowboy hat print. He rubbed the side of his head. “My ear hurts.”

He stopped mid-step and stared at Vlad, eyes widening.

“Hello, little man,” Vlad said with a nod.

Wylie blinked, silent, reaching out to grip the skirt of Connie’s nightgown for reassurance.

Vlad retrieved two of the toy cars on the floor. He raced them over the landscape of the couch cushions, making zooming noises and screeching tires. Then the toy cars crashed in a dramatic collision, complete with sound effects.

Wylie grinned and ran over to Vlad, grabbing a car from the floor to play along.

Connie came to stand beside me, lowering her voice.

“If I had known I would be entertaining company, I would have put on a bra, at least.”

“Hey, look, don’t blame me. I’m just as surprised as you are.”

She squinted, suspicious.

“You’re not, actually. I didn’t spend a decade married to a biker, Hattie. I’m not used to this, but you are. There is a freakishly giant tattooed man in my living room at eight o'clockin the morning, with no warning or explanation. That might be just another Tuesday for you, but it’s new to me.”

I hesitated, running my hands through my hair.

“Neil is just looking out for all of us,” I said at last.

“Are you back together?”

I sputtered.

“No. Definitely not.”

Because I can’t figure out that part yet.

Iwantedto be together. The logistics of it were a different matter though.

Wylie climbed up onto the couch and nestled into Vlad’s lap, still rubbing his ear.

“I’m tired,” he said. “And I don’t feel good. I don’t want to play anymore.”

“Then you should close your eyes and sleep, little man,” Vlad replied. “I will watch over you.”

My heart clenched. Maybe I’d been chasing a pipe dream for all these years. Wrapped up in visions of a white picket fence neighborhood and a husband who spent his time playing catch in the backyard with his kid. Instead of coming home soaked in someone else’s blood.

What if this was it for me? Connie was the stay at home wife and mother, with the warm, saintly maternal instincts. Not me. I fell in love with a man full of sharp edges and bared teeth. I fell in love with a man who killed for me, and wouldn’t hesitate to do it again and again.