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“Enzo…”

Don’t cut me out is what I want to say, but no words come out. Maybe we both need some space, and he’ll learn to appreciate my presence. I know he’s just trying to shove me away like I don’t affect him. He can lie to himself for as long as he wants. The truth will always break down the walls he erects.

“Fine.”

He’ll be the one to come back sooner, not able to be without me.

“So agreeable,” he mumbles.

Narrowing my eyes, I thrust a finger at him. “Don’t push your luck.”

“Or fucking what?” he asks, cutting the distance between us and forcing me back. My back hits the mattress, and he climbs on top of me.

I am about to lift my hand to hold on to him when he grips my wrist with one hand, forcing my arm back. Pinning me while with the other, he grabs my neck and squeezes. He can’t do it and we both know it.

There’s a war waging in his eyes as he lets out a sound of an injured animal that pierces my chest, lancing my heart that yearns for his love. I wish I could make it right, but know I never can.

I chose you, Enzo, even if it doesn’t appear that way.But betrayal is betrayal.

There are so many things I long to tell him, but it wouldn’t change a damn thing. Our love story is in ruins—decrypted and blown up by an unforgivable past.

I close my eyes for a moment, wanting to hide my vulnerability. He pushes himself off me, leaving me desolate, my body aching to feel his pressed against mine again.

I feel his pain, his need, as if they’re my own.

“It was not one-sided,” I whisper.

His back stiffens, muscles straining behind his shirt.

“Shut up, Luciana. I believed your lies once. I might be a fool, but—”

“Is this how we’ll spend our lives?” I ask softly when he’s about to close the door.

“Not a lifetime, just a while longer.”

“My ghost will be even worse to live with than the reality of me.”

“Nothing is worse than the reality of you,” he says and slams the door shut after him.

That is his truth. I’ve lost him.

The pain is so swift and so precise it’s like he ripped out my heart. I won’t survive his hatred.

I pace, not finding my peace. I need to get out of here.

Quickly tiptoeing out of the room, I assume Kill is with Enzo, so I slip out the door, getting lost in the night. I need a bit of distance to make my poisonous thoughts stop injecting my soul with their lethal venom.

I know he will find me, but I am too emotionally messed up for a game of hide and seek.

I was never a believer in the notion that love can save you and all that crap about finding your person. Yet, my inner voice said he’s it.

I did stupid things in the name of loving him. To save his ass so he can call me a nightmare from his high horse.

I take in the fence surrounding the compound. The freedom on the other side of it doesn’t appeal to me. I am lost. I don’t know who I am anymore. Behind this fence, I can pretend I don’t care about finding out.

The illuminated paved path leads me to the pond. I drop down and take off my shoes. Dipping my toes in the freshwater, I smile at the fish rising to the surface to see if it’s food or an intruder.

Leaning back on my palms, I tread my feet in the water, gently not to disturb the koi’s habitat.