Page 55

Now, all you have to do is forget about him.

A third of the vodka bottle is gone, yet I cradle the bottle to my chest, holding on to it as if it’s the only grip I have on reality while my mind latches on to every memory we made together.

Not being able to continue this pity party, afraid I will open the door to the jet and fling myself out, I stand up, slamming the bottle on the table. Moving to the cabin at the end of the floor, I walk inside the small bedroom.

I crawl into bed with my phone, going through the messages and all the pics I’ve taken of him when he was asleep. I had so many chances to kill him. Any shot would have been better than him seeing me pull the trigger, making him believe I wanted to kill him. I killed his heart, his love with my supposed betrayal, but I killed myself in the process too.

Enzo was right to tell me I couldn’t kill him, but in the end, I erased his belief.

Closing my eyes, I try to sleep, but it’s like I am chasing a wild cat, fully engaged in a game of hunter and prey. When I finally fall asleep, a deep sigh of relief rolls out of my mouth, only to wake up with my heart pounding and clutching my diamond necklace.

I tell myself it was a nightmare, nothing else, yet I still count the twenty-eight diamonds as if in a trance. He was bleeding in front of me from my bullet, and then another diamond popped up, decorating my neck.

Going to the bathroom, I throw up all the bitterness gathering in my stomach, poisoning my insides.

I am slowly dying, and I can’t stop.

This is not you, I repeat to myself as I hug the toilet.

If someone saw me like this, I would lose all the respect I’d worked so hard to earn. But this hurt spreads through my chest, making me want to hole up in a corner and be left alone, agonizing in peace. I’ve never experienced this pain that butchers my heart, slicing at my will to go on.

Standing up on shaky legs, I grip the edge of the sink and look in the mirror. Bags lie under my eyes, my silver eyes dull just like my complexion—my life essence got snubbed.

Pull yourself together, I urge myself again and splash some cold water on my face. I prepare myself for landing by applying layers of makeup to cover my hangover, sleepless night, and heartache.

Dressing in a pencil skirt and a silk shirt, I put on my high heels, returning to my seat and buckling myself in just as the captain announces we’re about to land.

Clutching my phone in my hand, I have one goal: to hide what I did and make sure no one finds out about my indiscretion.

I was in New York on vacation. Period.

The jet lands and I see my car waiting with the driver ready to open the door for me.

He looks at my small bag but says nothing as he puts it inside the trunk and then gets behind the wheel.

Everyone knows not to interact with me, so he greets me with a dip of his chin, and then he drives me home.

During the hour-long drive, I watch outside the window, knowing I will have to meet both Augustus and Adamo, in that order.

He parks in front of my house, and I can’t stop thinking that I have all this space for myself, but there’s no joy, no laughter—it’s empty of life just like me. Material things can’t buy anything of substance.

My heels click clack down the polished marble as I go into my office.

There are folders stacked on my desk. Work will hopefully help me escape my funk. I function on pure will, but I doubt that’s enough to sustain me long term.

One staff member brings me breakfast. I ignore it, rifling through the papers. It’s the usual: my next targets: a diplomat and an inventor of an alternate energy solution.We wouldn’t want that now, would we?

This is enough work to keep me busy for a while.

I call Augustus and he answers immediately.

“I am back and received my tasks.”

“Those can wait. Join me for lunch at my place.”

“I’ll be there,” I say, my heart pounding wildly even though I assure myself no one will notice the differences. I could bleedout and be on the brink of dying, but I wouldn’t grimace. I am sure I can hide my heartache with no problem.

As I have two more hours to kill, I move between my laptop and my board. Pinning all the relevant information for my first hit, I develop the plan to take him down smoothly. It’s even a bit challenging. He’s so paranoid he doesn’t leave his house, only for monthly board meetings.