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Laughing suddenly felt good.

“Your dad was tough.”

“Yeah, he was. Pissed me off as a kid. But he knew what he was doing. After drying my tears and a little encouragement, I managed to stay on the horse without freaking out while the owner took me around the corral. Just once and that felt like a lifetime. After that though, all I wanted to do was to see that colt. Drove my dad nuts.”

“What changed your mind?”

Resuming brushing, I sighed as I thought about the answer. “Because the man who owned the ranch told me he’d rescued the colt from a terrible and abusive person who’d hurt the horse when he was very small. He told me that all creatures needed kindness and asked if maybe I could help brighten the little colt’s day.” I laughed. “Something struck inside and I felt connected.”

“Your uncle thought you needed to relive something that brought you good memories instead of the ones haunting you. Before my mother died, she used to tell me that everything happened for a reason and sometimes it took a little while for us to embrace what that was.”

“Evidently that’s exactly what my uncle was doing.” I backed away, patting Sadie on the flank before turning toward her. Goddamn if she wasn’t even more beautiful in the dim light. “Don’t read anything into this, Juliette. And don’t try and change me. I’m not a good man, at least not like I thought I was. Neither Tank nor Sadie are going to change that and trust me, you definitely can’t.” The truth was that I wouldn’t allow her to try. The pain was too fresh.

She was more expressive with her eyes than anyone I’d ever been around but, on this evening, they were flat.

“That’s not what I’m trying to do. Although I am trying to remind you that you wouldn’t have risked your life to save me if you were a terrible person.”

“It’s just about my job.”

“That you retired from.” The woman was pushier than any I’d met.

“Once you join the military, the job stays with you.”

“So, I’m a job.”

Sadie turned her head and I shook mine. Now the horse was listening in on the conversation. “That’s all you can be.” Yet even in stating that as firmly as I had, my thoughts drifted to the morning in the library and the way her luscious body had molded under mine. Her cries when I’d driven my cock deep inside her tight pussy.

And the moans of agony then ecstasy when I’d claimed her asshole. I wanted nothing more than to do it all over again.

Until she was whimpering.

Her body covered in my cum.

Her soft cries of satisfaction filling the room.

I wanted to ravage every inch.

Shit. I forced myself to look away. She was far too tempting and if I didn’t get my cock in check, I’d lose my grasp on sanity.

And reality.

What we’d shared couldn’t happen again. Not only because protecting her would become more difficult, but also because she didn’t need her life destroyed by a broken man.

That’s all I was and ever would be. No matter how hard my uncle was trying to pull me from the depths of despair, it was too little, too late.

“All I can be,” she repeated, the flash of hurt in her eyes something I couldn’t avoid. “I know, Kage. We’re not friends and we’re certainly nothing else. You’re just my keeper for now. I getit. I just wanted you to know that I believe you’re a good person and I think Sadie will make you happy just like Tank has done. Just let me offer you a piece of advice that I know you don’t want. Try and remember sometimes in our lives, other people can see things we can’t. Often, they can look past the armor, weed through the pain, and shove aside the ugliness that we’re afflicted with and see either the best in someone or an aspect of what they need in life. You’ve closed yourself off for some reason and no, you don’t know or trust me and I don’t expect that to change. But don’t lie to yourself. You’re ready for something good in your life. You’re ready to live again. Whatever the reason you can’t seem to do that, I hope you’re able to make peace. You deserve it.”

She smiled when I didn’t say anything and slowly walked away.

And somehow, I’d never felt so cold inside.

CHAPTER 25

Juliette

“Shit.”

The word left my mouth before I could stop it.