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I cocked my head. “Meaning?”

“Meaning I ran. I didn’t think I had another choice.”

The acid in my stomach remained just thinking about what could have occurred. “You did the right thing, Juliette. You followed your instinct. If you do, it will never steer you wrong.”

“Maybe that’s advice you should take yourself, big man.”

“Maybe so.” My entire life I’d followed my instincts. Sadly, I wasn’t certain what they were telling me right now. We sat quietly, happy to be nuzzled together. At least for now, I could remain content.

“What’s your greatest dream?” she asked a couple of minutes later.

“I don’t know if I have one.” I’d built a fire, cracked open a bottle of wine, and both of us were sitting under a blanket with my arms wrapped around her. Even still, she was shaking.

She shifted enough that she could peer at my face. “Everyone has one, Kage. I think sometimes we’re afraid to admit what they are, but we have something deep inside that we’ve wanted our entire lives.”

“What’s yours?”

Her laugh was chilling. “To be a veterinarian.”

“That’s why you’re so drawn to animals.”

“I guess so. That and my father never allowed me to have a pet as a child. He said we traveled too much. I think he tried to make me afraid of dogs in particular. It worked. Maybe we did travel a lot, but I always knew owning a dog or a kitty would have helped with the loneliness.”

“It’s never too late.”

Her snort brought a smile to my face. “Please. I’m twenty-eight years old, soon to be twenty-nine. As you reminded me more than once, I’m spoiled and I like to do things my way. I don’t think I’d be able to return to college life. Four years was enough.”

“You’re not spoiled. Just hardheaded.”

“And you’re not getting out of the question. What’s your dream?”

Reaching over, I stroked Tank as he lay sleeping, even more thankful than I’d been a few hours before. If only the anger would subside. “To go back several years ago to the last mission I had with the Navy SEALs.”

“That’s when something happened. Right?”

“Yeah. A man I thought I could count on didn’t follow through on the command he’d been given. That allowed several good men to die.”

“If that’s the case then why are you blaming yourself?”

The answer was tougher to admit to myself than it was to her. “Shit. It’s all a lie.”

“What do you mean?”

“Because the dreams aren’t what happened. Because I’ve been blaming a man for something I did.”

“I don’t understand.”

Sighing, I pulled the glass into my hand, finally ready to face the demons plaguing me for years. “That night we’d been given the orders to advance, but our commander had been very clear. We acted only after checking the parameter of the building. Instead, I thought I heard a noise from inside clearly indicating the insurgents were holed up just like what we’d been told.”

“And they weren’t?”

I shook my head and took a sip of wine, the cabernet tasting bitter. Or maybe that was the bad taste I’d had in my mouthsince something inside of me had known I’d been lying to myself for years. “No, but we didn’t know that until it was too late. Maddox and I were supposed to check the exterior to look for any signs of booby-traps and to search for any sign of life. When I heard the noise, I reacted instead of following my trained instincts and kicked in the door. That had been planned, but only if the information was proven correct. I told Maddox I had confirmation after hearing voices. He refused to believe me. He followed his orders and his instincts.”

“So he walked away?” she asked.

“I didn’t think so at first. I thought he was right behind me, so I kicked the door in. Other SEALs followed me inside. It was a trap, the place wired. The insurgents were waiting, immediately attacking from behind. In the melee, one man was lost inside the building, losing his life to one of several explosions. There were more, at least six of us were gunned down. We’d been targeted. I insisted if he’d been with me, we could have saved the fallen man. Others lost their lives as well.”

“You couldn’t have known it was a trap.”