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Chapter Forty-Four

Bexley

2019

The morning comes and we wake like robots. We dress, climb into the car, and plan Samuel’s funeral. I nod yes to this and yes to that. Point to the things I want and shake my head when I don’t approve of something. By late afternoon, with the demands coming from Danny for things to hurry along, we all stand outside by Samuel’s casket.

There will be no Catholic funeral for my husband, which confuses Ma, but with a little pep talk from Danny, she lets it go.

Regardless, I know how much he loved Ireland and his Irish background just as Paul and Danny do, so I insisted on that to be present and I got no argument from anyone.

The snow begins to fall as tears roll down my face. Ma holds on to my arm, dabbing her nose with a tissue. Paul stands tall, holding his hands in front of him, his wife by his side, his children’s hands in hers. Danny and Johnny stand together across from me as the priest begins to pray.

“May the Irish hills caress you.

May her lakes and rivers bless you.

May the luck of the Irish enfold you. May the blessings of Saint Patrick behold you.”

During the prayer, my eyes drift from the snow-sprinkled ground to Samuel’s casket with its simple red roses. That’s how Samuel was.

Simple.

Easy.

“Wait,” a kid yells. “Can you grab it?” he says as the ball rolls past me. In heels that aren’t fit to run in, I jog, trying to reach down and grab the ball, when someone scoops it up. I look up, my hair in my face. I blow it out, seeing a smile that makes my heart skip.

“Hey,” Samuel says, tossing the ball back to the kid.

“Thanks,” the kid says before he runs off.

“Hey,” I say, standing up straight, slightly out of breath, and not just from going after the ball.

The summer sun shines upon his face, showing gold flecks in his eyes that I remember seeing when we were kids.

“How are you?” he says.

I nod, sliding a piece of hair behind my ear. “Fine.”

“Just fine?” He smiles.

I shrug. “Just fine.”

We stare at each other for a moment and time seems to stop, but the world keeps going on around us. He’s tan and got this shadow of a beard. He seems older, but not much. It’s been what? Only two years since I last saw him on this very street, changing my tire in the pouring rain. He looks so good, though.

“You seeing anyone?” he asks.

I shake my head. “No.”

“You want to?”

I smile, feeling myself blush. Who is this guy, and where did shy Samuel go?

“I don’t know.”

He looks at his watch and then back up at me. “Come to dinner with me. I’ll help you make your mind up.”

I bite my lip, feeling something I haven’t in a long time. Excited, nervous.