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ChapterTwenty-Four

Bexley

2019

I slide my black coat on, flipping the collar up to protect my neck from the chilling wind after we step out of the car. Snow crunches beneath my heels and icy air seeps down in my lungs.

“When are you and my grandson going to have one of those?” Ma asks, holding on to my arm as we walk past some kids while we head toward the church. We take her every Sunday, and every Sunday she asks me the same thing. Taking her also means we have to come to this side of town, which I hate because it brings up too many memories.

“Ma,” Samuel says, looking at me sympathetically. I love Ma, but I wish she’d stop asking. Besides, we’ve only been trying for a year or so. Plus, it’s not like we do it every single night. I pat her arm. “It’ll happen when it happens, Ma,” I say as we take the steps.

“It won’t happen if you’re not having sex,” she blurts out as we walk through the doors. I take in a deep breath, trying to control my embarrassment. I look to the ceiling in prayer and hear the priest clear his throat as we move past him.

Patting Ma’s hand, I remove her arm and let her walk in front of me down the pew. Paul, his wife, Ellen, and their three children are already here.

He kisses Ma’s cheek when we near. I lean by them and kiss Ellen’s in hello, waving to the littles, who aren’t so little anymore, before greeting Paul with a cheek kiss also.

It’s always a cheek kiss around here. It’s just the way we all are. You see someone you love, you kiss their cheek when you say hello.

“Good to see you guys,” Paul says.

“Likewise,” Samuel returns. “How’s everything?”

“Good,” Paul replies. We take our seats as Ma rumbles through her purse for candy to give to the kids.

Samuel leans in my ear as we sit down. “We can try for those after this if you’d like?” he says, his deep voice sending chills down my spine. I smile, turning toward him, and then I catch the sight of someone sitting over on the other row. Samuel kisses my neck, oblivious to the devil occupying this Godly place.

It’s been a while since I’ve laid eyes on him. In a black suit and tie he looks too good to be true. I know under that collar are tattoos, and behind those eyes was once a boy I was infatuated with.

Shit.

He doesn’t turn his head, his chin is lifted, his face expressionless, but his sight is directly on me. I’m the first to look away, standing with everyone else as the service begins.

________________

I slide my gloves back on as the service wraps up. The massive building is filled with the sounds of people talking amongst themselves, asking about Christmas plans and how their week was. We didn’t leave our seats during the exchange of peace and neither did Danny.

“There’s your brother,” I say to Samuel as we stand up.

He looks at me. “You would notice him first.” My heart drops.

“Excuse me?” I ask.

He doesn’t reply, but I see his jaw ticking. His remark confuses me. I haven’t shown any affection toward another man, only Samuel. Our marriage has been great, for the most part, over these past few years. I mean, we’ve had some rocky times, but always come out on top and together.

We get to the end of the row and I see Johnny also. Not sure who this other person is with them.

“Oh, Danny,” Ma says with the sweetest smile on her lips. Pink looks good on her cheeks.

She loves all of her boys, but she’s always had a special place in her heart for Danny.

“Ma.” Danny gives her a gentle hug and she grabs his face, kissing each cheek.

“I just saw you last week,” he says to her, like she’s overreacting. I feel my brow furrow.

I don’t know why I figured since we never see him, the rest of them didn’t either. I wonder if Paul sees him often, too.

“Danny,” Paul greets. Danny shakes his brother’s hand and kisses Ellen on the cheek before ruffling the two boys’ hair and scooping his niece up. She giggles, leaning into her uncle.