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“Don’t blame yourself. I was wrong about him, too.”
“You weren’t. I may have laid the act on too thick, but I’m not wrong about his feelings for you. Given his reaction to us hugging, I think he might be dealing with fears and insecurities of his own. In fact, I’m willing to bet this isn’t his first time he’s felt rejected.”
“By me? Why would he feel rejected? How can you tell?”
“Takes one to know one.” He pauses. “He probably felt rejected because someone he cared about, more than likely someone he loved, chose someone else over him.”
Maybe that’s why Jake is the way he is.
Like me, he probably doesn’t want to get hurt again.
The conversation ceases when I pull up to Vance’s terminal. The Dallas-Fort Worth Airport is crowded today with families saying goodbye, with men and women dressed in business attire hustling inside.
“Do you need help with your luggage?” I offer.
“No worries. I got it.” He pulls his suitcase from my trunk, then pokes his head out through the open passenger-side. “Do me a favor while I’m gone?”
“Of course.”
“Don’t give up on him. And stop giving in to your fears and insecurities. Go home. Be with him. See what happens next.”
“What makes you think he’s still there?”
“Like I said, takes one to know one. I guarantee he’s still in the same spot, debating whether to pack up and leave or wait for you to come back. He’s wrestling with himself just as much as you are. Don’t give up on this chance, Mia. Or you will regret it for the rest of your life.”
Chapter Nineteen
Dallas, TX
Jake
I’m leaving. This is bullshit, just waiting.
No, I should wait and see what she has to say.
But what if she isn’t coming back? She said she’d be back, and all her stuff is still in the apartment.
I need to get a grip.
She took her purse with her wallet, money, and her boyfriend. That’s all she’d need to start over.
No. I can’t think like that.
For half an hour, I wrestle with myself. Like the song goes, “Should I stay or should I go?” That seems to be the current theme of my life.
How the fuck did I end up here again?
Earlier this morning, I was optimistic about the talk I was going to have with Mia. First, I planned to tell her the truth about my feelings, both then and now. And then I was going toround it out with a couple of I love yous. I guess this is what I deserve when I choose to pursue a woman for a night, rather than a lifetime commitment. Or maybe I was never meant for a lifelong relationship in the first place.
The last time I found myself here, the woman I thought I was going to marry, who I thought was the love of my life, left me.
No doubt Mia will do the same since history has decided to repeat itself.
I don’t want to be cynical. I need to be practical. But this time is different. I feel off-balance. Shaky. Like I just got torn into two. I guess because I’m more emotionally invested with Mia, her decision to be with someone else cuts like a deep wound.
I’m going to sit here and wait. I want to know, once and for all, if I need to move on. I’m tired of playing what-if games with myself. One minute, I’m convinced I need to leave before I get any more hurt than I already am. The next? I sway myself back into hoping again.
Footsteps coming from the other side of the front door stop my train of thought. They’re light, dainty. She’s back. Shit, what do I do? What does this mean?