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“Maybe he’s a light weight.” But I know my answer is weak.
This time her sigh is full of exasperation. “Mia, at some point you have to stop lying to yourself. There’s a big difference between what your brother’s best friend would do and what aman pursuing a woman would do. If Jake is merely your keeper, would he kiss you and bring you dinner?”
Kami’s arguments are solid and valid. Lately, I’ve forced myself to consider Jake as nothing more than my brother’s friend doing my brother’s bidding. If I let myself think of him in any other light, I’ll lose my head, like I did when I had a crush on him years ago. I can’t do that. I can’t put my heart at risk.
But now I’m struggling to view Jake’s actions through a platonic lens. My heart wants to say the one word I can’t. The word I swore I’d never feel for Jake again. The word I can’t bear to even think.
Love.
Maybe I’m not meant for it. Not cut out for it.
“Mia.” Kami pulls me from my thoughts. “He’s in?—”
“Don’t.” I stop her because, despite what she thinks, Jake isn’t in love with me. “He’s not. We’re both blowing a New Year’s kiss and a shared pizza completely out of proportion.”
“You’re not. You’re in love, too.”
My eyes sting with tears I do my best to sniff back. “I’m not. I can’t be.”
“Why not?”
“It’s not real. I’m not the girl a guy like Jake falls for.”
Kami’s shocked expression softens to sympathy. “Mia, everyone deserves to have the love of their life.”
I shake my head. “My heart leads me astray every time. It’s stuck on this one man. I can’t trust myself. Especially now.”
She takes my hand in hers. “There was a time I would have agreed with you. I wanted nothing to do with love because it had betrayed me so many times. But then Ian came along, told me I was wrong, and did everything in his power to make sure my stubborn ass knew he loved me. I won’t deny I protested, both to him and to myself. You would not believe the lengths I went, trying to get rid of him. My point is, you deserve love.Sometimes, you have to be brave to be in love. Your heart may get broken along with way, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it. Don’t fight what you’re feeling. You’ll only hurt yourself in the process.”
Could what Kami went through with Ian be similar to my situation? “You don’t know that.”
“But I do. I see the way Jake looks at you. And I’ve seen you around him enough times to know the feelings are mutual.”
“Looks at me how?”
“The way every woman in the world wants to be looked at by the man they love. You may argue with him a lot, but I know you two have a connection. And no man, drunk or otherwise, kisses a woman like that unless he has feelings for her, especially with the history you two have.”
I hesitate. Is it really possible my feelings aren’t unrequited? If Kami believes they’re not, shouldn’t I give her the benefit of the doubt? Maybe… I want to see what she’s been seeing for myself. Is the possibility not as crazy as I originally thought?
Chapter Fourteen
Jake
After spending the whole morning and afternoon replaying Tuesday night in my head, I’m dying to know what’s going on in Mia’s head. Did she enjoy that night like I did? What’s she thinking? Feeling? Has her attitude toward me changed for the better? If so, how soon can I come clean to her about what’s in my heart?
Vance is still in the picture.
Not for long if he barely gives her the time of day. I mean, what guy doesn’t take his girl out on the weekends? Or at least spend time with her? Whatever the reason, he’s a real shitty boyfriend. I don’t know what kind of person Vance is, and I won’t pretend that I do, but if he truly cared for her, he’d spend as much time with her as possible. At least I would.
All the more reason to take this opportunity and convince her she belongs with me.
I’ll figure out what to do with Vance later. Right now, my main priority is finding information on Mia. I know women talk.I know Mia and Kami had lunch together. So what better person to get information from than from the person she’s more than likely to been confiding in?
“Oh, it’s the man with a plan. What can I do for you today?” Kami jokes, tucking her fist under her chin.
“How are you?”
“Spectacular.” Her sarcastic tone is obvious. “What about you?”