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It was all I could do to hang on, bearing down and gagging him with my fingers until my soft, quiet boy was making the lewdest sounds.

Not thinking. Not worrying. Not fearing for anything.

Release came in a final, shuddering stroke. Loren’s teeth dug into my knuckles as his cum filled my ass. I came along with him, spurting ropes of glossy white fluid onto his chest. It glistened on his sweat-dappled skin.

Loren moaned as I pulled off him, feeling that plug in his ass more than ever and probably sore from it. I giggled and stood, leaking jizz down my leg.

“I like it when you’re messy,” I told him. Not to mention he looked sexy as hell with his hair wild and chest heaving.

I offered him a hand up, and he took it, rising carefully while the toy shifted inside him. He snagged me around the middle and pulled me in for a kiss. For as possessive as I was feeling, he seemed to have picked up on it, too. There was something claiming about his mouth, consuming as he crushed his lips against mine. It said what we both knew: I was his, too.

We stumbled into the bathroom then the shower, exchanging kisses and tender touches. By the time we were both clean and dressed in pajamas, Loren looked drowsy. His eyelids drooped, and his arms hung limply at his sides. After staying awake and on guard for days, it seemed he’d finally found enough peace to relax.

He collapsed on the bed, and I curled against his back with my arm thrown over his side and my face nuzzled to the nape of his neck. I smelled his skin, breathed him in, and mentally repeatedmine, mine, mine.

“Indy?” Loren’s voice was thick with impending sleep.

“Yeah, baby?” I asked.

He exhaled. The breath and his words were stifled as he sank lower into his pillow. “I wouldn’t have gone,” he mumbled. “To Heaven. Even if I could’ve.”

The return of that topic washed coolly over me. Had he been thinking about it this whole time?

His hand cupped atop mine where it draped across his stomach, and he sighed again. “I don’t want to be anywhere you’re not.”

I tucked myself tighter to him and didn’t say a word. Simply laid there and felt his chest rise and fall gradually slower until sleep claimed him at last.

He may have found peace, but I was far from it. Loren admitting he would have stayed on Earth, an eternal prisoner of Hell for my sake, was exactly what I’d feared. I was the cause of this. The problem. Not the solution.

So, here I was in another nearly perfect moment, wracked with guilt and wanting to escape. I could remember, reminisce, but that wasn’t enough. I needed to retreat. To lose myself in times before demons wanted me to cleanse their souls. Before Loren said he was broken, destroyed. Before I knew it was my fault.

Carefully, I pulled away from him, determined not to disturb his much-needed rest. I rolled over and looked at the bedside table where my cellphone lay face down. My gaze flicked to the window and the sky outside speckled with distant stars.

It was late, but also right on time.

Retrieving my phone, I opened my contacts to find Chaz’s number. I selected messages and typed a quick sentence.

hey you out?

I pressed the cell to my chest, afraid Loren would wake and see it. He hadn’t asked about my addiction. Hadn’t asked aboutanything, and I hadn’t volunteered. Even if I said something, it would have been to tell him I was fine. Great, actually. But this didn’t look great.

The phone hummed, and I checked the incoming message.

yeah

Swallowing, I glanced back at Loren to ensure he was asleep before I tapped out the words.

meet me?

Another few seconds passed, and I watched the dots bounce on the reply line until the response came through.

yeah

Yeah, I thought, then I whispered it to myself as I rose from the bed and sent a final message.

on my way

Indy