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Out of habit, she put her feet in his lap.

He looked pleasantly surprised. “Oh,” he said and clutched them, beginning to rub her feet between his hands.

It felt so good to be touched by him.

But she didn’t want to send mixed signals.

She pulled her legs back. “Sorry,” she said. “Muscle memory.”

“Ah.” He nodded. “So I guess I’m not moving back in.”

She steeled herself to tell him the truth.

He frowned, bracing for it.

“This is really hard to say,” she said, her voice cracking.

“Just say it,” he said softly. “Please.”

“What we had was really special,” she began. “I think in a lot of ways, I’ll always love you. But we want different things. And you shouldn’t have to compromise what you want in order to keep me.”

“But, Lola, love is about compromise,” he pressed.

She was worried this was going to turn into an argument when whatshe needed was for him, for once, to hear her out. “To a certain extent, sure,” she agreed, trying to be gentle so he’d stay open. “But I’m not sure you should be expected to compromise your entire lifestyle. And honestly, I wouldn’t want you to. Because I don’t want to do that either.”

“Is this because of Aly Ray Carter?” he asked, his voice rising. “Are you in love with her?”

“It’s not because of Aly,” Lola said, sidestepping the second question. “Though it’s notnot, I guess. Being with her made me realize that I have so much to learn about myself. And I’m not sure I can learn those things while in a relationship.”

“With me,” he added.

“With anyone,” she corrected.

“There’s nothing I can say to change your mind,” he said, less a question than an observation.

“I’m so sorry, Justin,” she said.

“So you’re breaking up with me.” His voice was flat.

“I think we’re breaking up with each other,” she pointed out. “This was never on the table before you put it there.”

He looked at his hands. “I’m really sorry,” he said. “This is all my fault. I wish I could take it all back.”

“It’s not about fault,” she said, a wave of relief coming over her now that she’d gotten the words out. “This was going to happen sooner or later. I’m glad it’s happening now and not when we’re, like, married with five children and living in the Valley.”

“We wouldneverlive in the Valley,” he laughed.

It felt good to hear that sound. It told her that he didn’t hate her. On the contrary, he loved her and maybe even understood where she was coming from.

It gave her hope that even though their relationship was ending,she wasn’t losing him. Maybe someday they could figure out a way to be friends.

“Can I hug you?” he asked.

She nodded, and he pulled her close. She nestled her face into his neck and breathed him in. His arms tightened around her.

Their cheeks brushed as she pulled her face back to look at him. His beautiful, familiar face.

She was really going to miss it. She looked at his mouth.