Page 5

Ever resourceful, Stella had found instructions on how to make simple sanitary pads in the survival books, and since then, she’d essentially handled her menses on her own.

“It’s been a little while, but the books say that irregular periods are normal in teenage girls,” she said with an indifferent shrug.

I took a fortifying breath, then asked, “Do you know how babies are made?”

“Are you talking about sex?” she asked.

“Yeah. I am. Have you ever had sex?”

“No.” She shook her head. “I’m too young. So we only made love.”

It felt like the ground had fallen out fromunderneath me, and I could only stammer, “With wh-who?”

“Max,” Stella replied, like it would be obvious, and a rush of relief and horror washed over me.

Relief because it wasn’t with Boden or Serg. I hadn’t wanted to believe it could be them, but the world had shown me that all kinds were capable of the worst depravities if the opportunity presented itself.

Horror because Max and Stella were having a baby with limited medicine and plenty of zombies. Not to mention they were children I had tried to raise as siblings, and they were still very muchchildren. Max was only sixteen, and Stella was even younger at nearly fifteen.

“What’s the difference between sex and making love?” I asked.

She squirmed, embarrassed and uncomfortable about the conversation topic. “You know. The girl bends over and the boy is behind her, like the rabbits do it. And making love is the other way, with the girl and the boy facing each other.”

I sighed and said, “Stella, I think you may be pregnant.”

“But I never had sex!” Stella protested. “I knew we weren’t ready for a baby yet.”

“What you described are two different positions, but they’re both sex,” I explained as evenly as I could. “Both are a form of procreation. But we can discuss the birds and the bees later.”

“What do the birds and the bees have to do with anything?” Stella asked, confused on top of shocked.

“I don’t know honestly,” I admitted. “Right now, I think we should bring the others in, and we’re gonna have to have some awkward conversations.”

4

Stella

This isn’t how I expected it would feel. I had imagined having a family with Max plenty of times. Some of our own and some that were lost orphans, the way I was before Max took me in. But not so soon.

All of the books I read spoke of health risks when a mother was too young, and giving birth at fifteen was certainly too young.

Whenever I had imagined falling pregnant, it had been joyous and spectacular because it was something Max and I chose. But this was peculiar and disorienting, almost like I was watching it happen to someone else.

Remy was still sitting across from me on the edge of the coffee table, her elbows resting on her knees, and she was so hopeless. Her eyes were usually hard but they were especially dark today. Her skin was tan but gaunt, and she wore long sleeves, even in the hottest days of summer, to hide the scars on her arms.

“Are you ready?” Remy asked at length, her voice flat and defeated. “Should we let the others know what’s going on?”

I nodded because I couldn’t keep this from them. There were only five of us in the house, and we were all a family. Max and I had only kept our relationship private because that was what had happened naturally.

My first memories were of Max, and he had kept me safe no matter what. From the very start, we hadheld hands and cuddled often, and as we got older, we started kissing, and eventually, we touched in more intimate ways.

As it was happening, it all felt like such a natural, loving progression. Max had been my best friend and my protector since the moment we’d met. I had never truly known a life without him, and I never wanted to.

When we were younger, I would crawl into his bed at night because I was scared, but it had been a long time since I had been really scared here in the lakehouse. I kept crawling in his bed at night, anyway, because I liked being with him, and I liked how it felt when we touched.

I loved him completely, and he loved me the same.

“Max, Boden, Serg, you can come back in.” Remy stood up when she called for them, because she tended to pace when she was distressed. I think she felt safest with distance between her and everyone else.