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More silence. A distance between us that hadn't been there just days ago. “That's great, Mia. I'm proud of you.” I meant it.
She nodded.
There was another stretch of silence that hurt just as much as any words she could have slung my way. Especially because she kept picking up. I wondered if she was only doing so because she was uncomfortable around me. She couldn’t stand still.
“Mia,” I said.
She finally stalled on her path.
“Come here?” I asked. I wanted nothing more than to apologize and move past all the stupid stuff I’d said when I was hurting.
She eyed me for a moment, her expression belying her pain. I could see it in the set of her shoulders, the fine lines under her eyes, the pinch of her lips. She was hurting, just like me.
It didn’t make me feel any better.
When she came closer, it took all I had not to reach out to her, to hold her. No matter how much I wanted to, I knew I’d lost that right.
So I poured my emotions into my words, hoping a miracle would help me get everything out just right. “Look, Mia, I'm sorry. I’m sorry for snapping at you, and I’m sorry for the silence from my end,” I said. “I had to get my head wrapped around everything that happened, and the more days that passed, the harder it seemed to reach out. I kept typing out messages, then deleting them because none of them felt right.”
Her eyes were on the ground, her lips tugging down.
God, I missed her. I wanted to kiss away her frown. But I also knew I put it there. I couldn’t be what she deserved. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I think we both know this is over,” she said. “A real relationship was a bad idea.”
I couldn’t quite meet her gaze. I was too ashamed. But the thought of losing her altogether… “I won’t see you again?”
She looked up at me like I had gone insane. “Ford, I agreed to fake date you until your contract was renewed or until Felicity got a boyfriend.” She took a measured breath. “I will stick to what I promised you and nothing more. You showed me the kind of man you are when things go wrong, and I am not going to sign up for more of that.”
“Mia, I...” I couldn’t find more words. “I’m sorry” just wasn’t good enough.
She shook her head. “I deserve better than what you gave me, and I’m not settling for less.”
I was about to respond, but she dipped her head to me and said, “Tallie will reach out to you for our next public appearance. Goodbye, Ford.”
52
MIA
I heldmy head high and kept my expression even as I walked away from Ford. As I walked away from the man I truly loved with all my heart.
Because underneath it all... I loved myself more.
I loved myself more than to allow myself to be someone's doormat, a first choice when things were going well but an inconvenience when things were going badly. I loved myself too much to accept anything less than the best.
Even if it meant I had to be alone.
I held it together until I got into the back seat of the car and Zeke took me away from the stadium. I closed the privacy screen between us. And there, alone in the back seat, I let myself cry. I took off the blazer that had once been a sign that I was his and tossed it onto the seat beside me. Now it was just a reminder that this was all for show.
When the car stopped, I sniffed back tears and braced myself to go home alone.
But when I entered my condo, I saw my best friend waiting for me. She got up from the couch and came to hug me, and I let myself fall apart in her arms.
“I didn't know you were going to be here,” I said.
She brushed my tears away from my cheeks with her thumbs and said, “Ford thought you might need a friend.”
His name, his thoughtfulness, her presence... it brought me to tears again. I held on to her, saying, “I think you might be my soul mate. Maybe I'm not meant to be with a man.”