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“Did you mean it?”
“Mean what?”
“You said the reason I would die alone was because I was a stone-cold bitch.”
“No, Liv. I didn’t mean it. Finding the most hurtful things to say is one of my gifts.” Tentatively, she took Olivia’s hand in hers and squeezed softly. “You’re my family. Even when I was infuriated with you, I never stopped seeing you as my family.”
Eve’s heart filled when Olivia squeezed back and whispered, “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you, too. So, can we go forward from here? Be what we once were?”
Olivia wanted to say yes, they could. But she honestly couldn’t see that happening. She was a different person now. Or maybe she was the person she had been before she’d met Hawke. Perhaps she was the woman her mother and father had intended her to be. The thought infuriated her. She had worked too hard and too long to be the antithesis of her parents. Was she going to allow them to destroy her future because she was too tired to try? She was not a quitter.
“Liv? Can we?” Eve said again.
She glanced over at her friend. She had loved everyone at OZ. They were unique, gifted, opinionated, and fiercely loyal. They’d been her family. But Eve had been more. She had been the sister of her heart. They’d had so much in common that the moment they’d met, they were practically joined at the hip. That was why Eve’s defection had hurt worse than anyone’s.
“I’d like that. It just may take some time. Okay?”
Eve squeezed her hand again. “That’s not a problem.” Frowning slightly, she said, “Can I ask you a personal question?”
Exhaustion was beating at her, and she was at her limit on confessions today, but when she looked at Eve, she found she couldn’t say no.
“Of course.”
“Why did you agree to that plan? I know you and Hawke sometimes went on separate missions, and I know you were having some issues with him being gone so much, but for you to be separated from him for two years seems like an extraordinary ask.”
“It wasn’t supposed to happen like that. He was supposed to contact me the next week. When he didn’t show up, I went to Kate. She said she hadn’t heard from him.”
And now she knew that had been a lie, too. She was infuriated the most with Hawke, but to only a smaller degree, she was also infuriated with Kate. She had trusted her, believed the lies. And Kate had known all along that Hawke was alive. Why had they kept it from her? Why had he stayed away for so long? Their marriage had been over, yes. And they’d barely been able to be in the same room with each other, but had he hated her that much?
“Hawke asked me for a divorce before he left,” Olivia added.
Eve wrapped her arm around Olivia’s shoulders. “Oh, sweetie, you never told me.”
Of course she hadn’t. Not even to her best friend could she admit the misery she had been going through. People handled emotional devastation in various ways. Her coping mechanism had always been to shut down and hope that the pain would eventually pass. Sometimes it worked, other times not so much.
What had happened between her and Hawke wasn’t something she could verbalize. There was hurt, and then there was hurt that went beyond words. Pain so devastating and final could not find purchase in something as mundane as words. It was just there, shimmering in a hot mass of existence. Even now, two years later, it hovered and simmered.
She blinked, her eyes suddenly so heavy she could barely keep them open. She couldn’t think straight. She needed to think about something else until she could get this figured out. She gave what she hoped was a convincing smile. “Tell me what’s been going on here. I know that Ash married Juliet Stone. And I heard that Sean and Serena finally tied the knot, too.”
As if time and harsh words had never separated them, Eve jumped into the conversation with both feet. “Liam, too.”
Gasping, she twisted to face Eve. “Oh my gosh, he found Cat?”
“Yes. Her name’s Aubrey Starr.” The beautiful smile on Eve’s face lifted her spirits even more. “It was epic, Liv. I can’t wait to tell you all about it. You’re staying here, right?”
That wasn’t something she’d even given a thought to. Normal activities like where she would sleep had not even entered her mind.
“I can find a place in town.”
“Don’t be silly. Of course you’re staying here. Or if you’d rather, you can come home with me. We can stay up all night and talk like we used to.”
That was too much, too soon. Even though she wanted to go back to her easygoing days with Eve, that was going to take time.
“That’s not necessary. I’ll ask Ash if I can stay here a few days.”
“A few days? You are coming back to OZ, right?”