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“I swear to fuck, if I wasn’t sick right now, I’d be all fucking over you.” I sucked in a breath to calm myself—and my cock down. And then I settled on my side, gathering more of the blanket to myself and holding it to me, as I revealed, “It sounds ridiculous, but I didn’t wantthatto be sullied by dirty talk and degradation. I’d wanted to be with you for so long, and I guess I always considered that being off-limits until we re-established our deep connection, until it wouldn’t just be fucking. All the rest we’ve been doing, it’s foreplay compared to that. I know it’s kind of twisted, but thatisme.”

“You wanted it to be special. That’s… wow… that’s not at all what I expected.”

“Yeah, well,” I uttered as that heavy weight settled on my chest that I’d tried to banish for years, that had been created ever since she’d shut down on me.

But then she reached out and stroked her fingers through my hair so tenderly that it had me stilling completely, and that weight lessened noticeably. “That’s so sweet, Kai. It means a lot.”

I couldn’t… I couldn’t get caught up in it.

Not yet.

She’d onlyjustcome around.

It might not stick.

I couldn’t allow myself to trust it so quickly, to fall into it.

And so, I eased away.

Besides, I was exhausted, my body growing so weary again and demanding sleep.

“You should talk to V when you next get the opportunity. Hedidtake you like that, and it meant a lot to him, but it’s something you haven’t addressed with him at all. He’s been focused on helping me get better, basically throwing himself into that and his studies here, a lot of which is likely to sublimate his upset and frustration over what happened outsidePolarisbetween the two of you not being spoken about.”

She nodded. “I know. There’s a lot of damage control to be done.”

I reached out and grasped her hand, seeing her pain. “You don’t need to do it all alone. Just like this Celestial issue, the test, all of it… we’ll figure it out together now, okay?”

“Sounds good,” she answered with the prettiest smile that warmed me down to the bone.

It had a relaxing effect in my current state, too, and I closed my eyes, tucking her hand under me a little, not wanting tobreak the contact. “I’m just gonna take a brief nap,” I murmured, the urge to sleep becoming overwhelming now.

“Rest,” I heard her say. “Gather your strength.”

“Okay,” I murmured.

It was almost lights out entirely when she whispered softly,“I need you, Kai.”

18

~Kai~

I couldn’t believe it.

The moment I awoke, I could feel the change in me.

That irritation in my chest that had resulted in that nasty cough was gone.

I was energized again.

My strength had returned.

And, best of all, I could feel that my magic was back at full capacity.

Finally.

I didn’t want to spend another second in bed.

Or, so I thought.